I’ve been releasing acoustic versions of new songs every few weeks since December and let another one out this evening. It’s called “The Tree You Named After Me” and is yet another collaboration with teenage pop phenom Noah Daniel Wood on guitar & David Appaloosa (from Portland indiepop boyband The Hugs) recording and quick mixing the whole thing for us.

Have a listen:

Click the album cover below to download “The Tree You Named After Me” from Logan Lynn’s “Everything You Touch Turns To Gold” for zero dollars on Bandcamp!

(Originally Published on The Huffington Post – 1/10/2012)

I spent my 20s in complete solitude. Even when I was in relationship or around friends, I was impossible to reach and might as well have been by myself. It was a decade spent mostly alone, and I think there were many times when I felt like this was just how life was going to play out. I watched as my little brother married his high-school sweetheart, and in the 10 years since, I’ve had the great pleasure of holding their babies as they joined us in the world. Loving these beautiful creatures has in many ways made my own as-of-yet-unrealized dream of building a family an easier pill to swallow — but I have always hoped that some great love would make its way to me, as well.

In October 2010, after spending the better part of two years in single-man lockdown mode recovering from a long-winded, ugly breakup, I went to celebrate my 31st birthday with my dear friend at a local Portland patisserie. We sat and chatted about life for a while, and then I noticed this man walk through the door and sit at a table just to the right of the dessert counter. He was wearing a tight, white, v-neck t-shirt, and I found myself unable to stop staring at him. It may have been his big arms, his dark chest hair, his thick-framed Dita glasses, his pretty face — I’m not sure — but something clicked in that moment.

At one point my friend stepped out to take a call, and I took that as my cue to undress him with my mind and get down to fantasy business. (I’m not a sex maniac, but I had sworn off men and had been celibate for over a year, and my fantasy life had become both really involved and easily accessible during that time). So I imagined us getting freaky on the dessert counter until my friend’s return jolted me back to my sad, clothed, birthday reality. From across the room, I kept hearing my pretend boyfriend laughing this enormous, joyful, shameless laugh with his friend, and I tried not to stare. As we were leaving, I pointed out my exotic find to my friend and said, “I gotta get me one like that,” which, in retrospect, is a bit crass and actually isn’t all that romantic-sounding, but I figure the story’s no good if I don’t just tell it like it happened, and that’s how it happened. It may not have been poetry, but it came from a very real place.

Over the next two months I thought about this mystery man a lot, which was not a common thing for me to do when it came to random people from coffee shops whom I had never spoken to. Often, the thoughts were naked ones, but sometimes they were not. At times I was awake when he was there; other times he would appear in my dreams. What had happened to me there amongst the candy and cakes? I couldn’t figure out if I had been possessed or if I was just really horny from swearing off sex. Maybe I just needed to get manhandled on a dessert counter somewhere. Either way, I hoped I would run into him again and promised myself that I would speak to him if I did.

One afternoon in early December I looked up from my desk at Portland’s Q Center, and there he was, standing in the door of my office, picking up promotional materials for an event he was holding there. He told me his name. I introduced myself but could not stop looking down at my feet. We shook hands. His were soft but strong — like they were in my dream. I’m sure I turned all sorts of red in the face, and I remember being kind of frozen there for a minute. I came off as rude and uninterested, and he went to talk with my colleague across the hall. Once again, I found myself compelled to stare at him, completely drawn in by his presence, his look, his chemicals, but I was somehow rendered unable to speak or be friendly.

When he left I probed my colleagues for details about who this most recent star of my rich fantasy life actually was in the real world. After hearing only good reviews from the handful of people I asked, I decided to attend the event he was hosting. I was determined to push through the shyness and try talking to him again when it was over, and I would try even harder not to come off like a total dick this time. Out of nowhere, at the end of the event, he came up to me and asked if I’d like to grab a coffee with him sometime. (I later found out that my colleague had let him in on my having expressed interest, so the miracle-love-story factor here is a little diminished, but it was a magical moment nonetheless.) I said yes and had him call my phone so that I could save his number.

As he was walking away, I noticed that it had not saved, and I said, “Wait! It didn’t work!” He turned and walked back over to me, still with those sweet eyes, still with that handsome face, and in a fleeting moment of sheer bravery, I let out the words, “How am I supposed to get you into my life if I don’t have your phone number?” My boldness made him smile. I entered the number again manually, saved it, and left the event feeling over the moon. To my surprise, he called me the next day to go to dinner instead of coffee, which we did the following evening. It was one of those nights where everything was easy and real. We talked about our lives, our families, our struggles, our deepest regrets, our hopes, our true selves; it was perfect. He gave me the most passionate kiss as he dropped me off that night, and we have been together ever since.

I’m not sure if our meeting was destiny or chance, as I am not sure I believe in either of those things, but I think I may have experienced what others for centuries have been referring to as “love at first sight” that day in the patisserie. I’m pretty sure I don’t believe in that, but it was like the minute I laid eyes on this man, I just knew he was going to change my life forever — and he has. I like to think that all those dreams and imagined escapades involving him in the months prior to our meeting were ways in which the universe was preparing me for the very real arrival of love and intimacy in my life. I might not have recognized either of them had I not already been turned on and tuned in on some level, and both might have frightened me had I not been practicing a bit on my own in advance of their arrival. It was some sort of cosmic conditioning process, and it left me brave and open enough for this man to occupy a space in my heart that no other man had prior.

Maybe the moral of this in-progress love story is that even the coldest hand can be warmed. I am living proof of this. I wake up every morning to a face on the pillow next to me that I hope I am lucky enough to get to roll over and look at for 100 more years. Something has come alive in me that was asleep before, and I will share that awakening with him forever, however our story builds out from here.

I believe that all of us deserve love and are fully capable of loving, no matter what our experience in and around relationships has been in the past. I continue to work on staying bold and listening to my dreams and fantasies when they are speaking to me. I am convinced that therein lies the roadmap to my bliss. My guess is that your bliss is trying to tell you something too, so pay attention. You never know when that patisserie door will open.

(Originally Published on The Huffington Post – 1/2/2012)

The first 12 years of my career were spent writing songs about loss and longing, so in some way I suppose I owe the fact that you are even reading this on The Huffington Post to my own unhappiness. Historically, I have felt most at home in heartbreak, both in art and in life. It’s largely what I knew growing up, so everything else felt foreign and wrong as an adult. For years, people being kind to me felt painful. I was terrified of anyone actually knowing me. It’s pretty fucked-up — and I still struggle with this. It’s a jagged part of my makeup that I will most likely be working on for the rest of my days.

I first learned about how sad the world can be when I was 7 years old, courtesy of a much older family “friend” who just couldn’t keep his hands off me. I won’t get into the specifics around the abuse suffered, but it was ongoing and horrible and went undetected for many years. The scars from this experience in my formative days have done just that: they formed me. They changed who I was and how I looked at the world, and they altered my sense of self at its core. All of this was complicated by the fact that I also happened to be a gay man born into a fundamentalist Christian home. It was a perfect storm for me to go completely apeshit, which I did.

I began experimenting with drugs and music around the same time, both before my 11th birthday. By 14 I was a full-blown, cigarette-smoking, drug-addicted alcoholic with headphones and a notebook who fancied himself a singer-songwriter. Those same old scars now rooted me on as I built an impenetrable wall of sadness and sound around myself. They gave me words and melodies to purge the feelings that could not be killed chemically, and I began seriously writing and recording music when I was 17. Those first songs would become my debut record, GLEE, which was released in 2000. At the time of its initial release, nobody knew what I was trying to do. I recall a lot of head scratching and people being really uncomfortable with the lyrical content, mostly, so I decided to take a break and focused solely on partying my brains out for the next five years.

In 2006, prompted by more unfortunate heartbreak of the drugged-out variety, I released a self-titled album, Logan Lynn, a mixture of songs from my debut and new material I had been working on. It was surprisingly well received, particularly by the queer community. I opened for The Presets and My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult at Folsom Street Fair for over 400,000 people and caught the attention of MTV‘s Logo network, which immediately started playing my videos. This was where things started to change for me. Suddenly I had over 100,000 folks in my online networks, had been nominated for some awards, and was getting a ton of press, for both my music and my party-boy lifestyle.

In 2007 I released the Feed Me to the Wolves E.P. and got signed to The Dandy Warhols-owned and operated Beat the World Records, with a distribution deal through Caroline/EMI. My music career was starting to peak, but my addictions had snowballed. I was freebasing 28 grams of cocaine a week and drinking gallons of vodka around the clock to balance it out. By the time I was admitted to rehab (for the fourth and, fingers crossed, final time) four years ago, I had suffered a partial stroke, had been fired by the Weinstein Company from an in-production reality show after over six months of invasive filming, was fired from the job said reality show was about, and lost my band, my friends, my partner, my dog, my house, and my words and had nothing left — nothing but that record deal and the scars.

So I used them to get myself well. I threw out the record I had been working on before rehab and started from scratch. In 2009 I released From Pillar to Post and did tons of interviews about getting clean as a way of holding myself publicly accountable. It was not the traditional way someone handles their breakout pop-music moment, but I needed to be honest about what was happening with me or I wasn’t going to be able to do it. The strange fame and recognition that came with the commercial success of that record and my suddenly being all over the TV freaked me the fuck out, and I no longer had chemicals to make it better. All I had was the truth, so I put it out there — all of it — not thinking about what it really meant for everyone to know everything about me. As a relatively shy, private person, afraid of being seen or known, this brand of overexposure didn’t set well at the time.

I was feeling pressured by my publicist, label, and collaborators to do more, say more, be more, go more places. I released a single to try to ease some of the professional pressure, but there was no break from the sadness, because now the sadness was fueling a business. I no longer owned myself or my words. I was taken back to that place from years before, feeling owned and ruined and hurt by the world. This was a new kind of heartbreak, however. It was the heartbreak of realizing that the thing that had always made me feel better had now become the very thing that was making me miserable. I did the only thing I knew how to do in that moment: I wrote songs and planned my escape. I was sick of being professionally sad and was just completely done with people relating to me on that level. In June 2010 I announced that I was going on an indefinite hiatus and released two in-progress records, I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday and Blood in the Water, myself, just months apart — no label, no PR campaign, no radio. I fired everyone around me and set off to explore a regular life, which I am pleased to report I found.

In the 18-plus months since, I have thrown myself into working full-time for LGBT rights at Portland’s Q Center. In being around people who truly care about my well-being and about humanity at large, I’ve realized that those scars from my early days are beautiful if you look at them just right. All of the heartbreak from the years is just part of my story, and my story is just getting started. I am not shaped by the experience of abuse and heartache any more than I am shaped by the experience of surviving them, and I am not driven by sadness any more than I am driven by joy — I just needed something joyful to write about.

I’m reminded of a quotation by author Rachel Naomi Remen that my mother sent me with regard to this very thing:

Wounding and healing are not opposites. They’re part of the same thing. It is our wounds that enable us to be compassionate with the wounds of others. It is our limitations that make us kind to the limitations of other people. It is our loneliness that helps us to find other people, or to even know they’re alone with an illness. I think I have served people perfectly with parts of myself I used to be ashamed of.

Love has made a home in my life and songs these days, shining new light on old wounds, bringing with it new words and melodies. I hope love makes a home in your lives, too. We are all so much more than our scars.

As many of you probably already have heard, Seattle’s evangelical Mars Hill church has just set up shop in SE Portland. The story broke via the Portland Mercury last week and ignited a controversy which has been covered in the media (both local and national) ever since.

When anything notable that’s LGBT-related happens in this town I generally expect to get calls from newsrooms wanting official statements from Q Center about said goings-on. That’s part of our role as an organization, actually; to speak out and offer up a voice from the queer community. As Q Center‘s Public Relations Manager, this time-sensitive-race-to-press stuff lands on my desk – generally all at once and without warning. This was certainly the case this past week. At 4pm Thursday Fox News descended upon my office with TV cameras. The Oregonian and Just Out had both interviewed me about the church just before they arrived as well.

Here’s where this whole thing gets tricky:

I know that ultimately what comes out of my mouth in these initial unplanned moments matters much more than any of the well thought out words I will think to say in the days following…so I try my best to speak from the heart and stay focused on the issue at hand instead of my past experience or perceptions. I’m not gonna lie, though- This particular issue is hard to stay objective about…impossible, maybe…so I decided not to.

Instead of fighting to stay removed I dove headfirst into my personal experience. I thought about how different my relationship with my family, the church and the world is these days compared to when I was coming out as a teenager and I thought about how it was that we got from there to here. In the years since coming out I have been able to change the hearts and minds of the people in my life. The once conservative views alive in my family are no longer anywhere to be found. We live in a profoundly free, new world together; a world full of love and celebration of our differences. It’s really quite beautiful. Had you told me this would be the case with my loved ones when I was 14 and miserable I would have laughed in your face at the impossibility of it all.

When I think about how this change in our lives came to be there are many variables. The common factor is me, however. In getting to know me, in seeing what it means to be a gay person through my life, my parents and these anti-gay people around them have changed their minds. It has taken years…but eventually is so much better than never. There are educational opportunities in front of my face all the time. Sometimes I am the teacher, but I am ALWAYS the student. When I heard Mars Hill Pastor Tim Smith speak in this video (click HERE to watch) I knew this was one of those times. I invited them to come take a tour of Q Center and chat and they took me up on the offer.

This afternoon MH Pastor Tim Smith arrived at Q Center with his colleague and we (along with Barb and Paul) spent nearly 2 hours together, chatting first about our similarities to find common ground and then about our differences and what that means for the local LGBT community here in Portland now that they have arrived. It was a very respectful, civil afternoon. We spoke about what all we do at Q Center, about youth suicide, bullying, queer families, the local political landscape and the state of the LGBT community here in Portland and worldwide. They spoke, we listened. We spoke, they listened. We had “ah-ha!” moments, they had “ah-ha!” moments. It was really that simple. No screaming. No fighting. Just talking. I believe we all left today’s meeting with a better understanding of one another’s perspective and with a resolve to take this dialogue to the next level.

In discussing what that would look like initially, we have decided to gather a dozen people – 6 from the LGBT community and 6 from the Mars Hill/Evangelical Christian community – to meet and dive deeper into these discussions over the course of a period of time yet to be determined. This will be an opportunity for the hard questions to be asked, answered, cried about, talked over, etc in a safe space, with the end goal being that both sides walk away with a better understanding of the other. There is so much fear on both sides of this particular coin…and we often are most afraid of the unknown. My hope is that we can replace the fear with knowledge, swap out the misinformation with education. I have seen this happen in my immediate family and believe wholeheartedly that it can happen in the larger human family as well. We are all just people, after all.

Today was a victory for courage, compassion and kindness; for being heard and for listening to. I’ll keep you all posted as this develops. I have high hopes that something really good comes out of this bridge we started building today.

In the end, love wins. Always. You’ll see.

xo,

Logan

I was interviewed for The Accidental Bear about music, activism and a bunch of other stuff this week. You can check it out on their site HERE (complete with photos of me and my boyfriend) or just keep reading below for the full transcript.

From The Accidental Bear: (6/2/2011)

While hiking through a creek the other day I lifted up a rock and found a gem. Ok, no that’s a story, I just really enjoy analogies. Nonetheless, the gem that was brought to my attention is singer-song-writer-ginger-beard-acitivist Logan Lynn. When I found him, it just happens, he is on a little hiatus, charging up for whatever the future holds.

LL: On Logo again here shortly. My new video is premiering sometime later this month. The rest is going to unfold however it decides to unfold. I have a day job, dog and boyfriend. Life is simple and good. I’ve gone inward for the time being.

You may have heard about Paul V’s “Born This Way” blog in recent days as it has been featured on TV and all over the place in the media. My short essay was one of the 1st included when the site when live a couple months ago. You can check out the post HERE. They ended up using only one of the two photos talked about in the essay so I have included the other one as the main header image of this post. Good, gay times.

Here’s hoping we can all learn to love ourselves and be kind to one another. Now…spend a few hours getting to know this fantastic blog. It’s pretty special.

Love you all,

Logan

It’s sometimes hard for me to wrap my head around all the change that 2010 brought into my life. Nothing is as it was a year ago (Thank GAWD!) Time is amazing. I feel like the last 3 years in particular have changed me at my core, molding me into who I could and should have been years before had I just been brave enough to open my eyes. Forgiveness around this previous internal blindness is part of my journey as well but that’s a whole separate issue that isn’t ready for the world to hear about just yet. Rest assured: Daddy’s workin’ on it…

In July I made the decision to take a break from touring and proceeded to blow my musical career to bits and released what will be my final word (for now) with my record “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday“. In retrospect I might have been able to handle things differently but at the time I felt like I needed to break everything in order to get away…so that’s what I did. All in all it was quite the spectacle. I have no regrets about making the decision I made but it’s funny to go back and read how upset I was at the time, knowing that less than half a year later it would all matter very little to me. The only regret I have is not taking steps to fix what was wrong sooner (which, as you can probably tell from the paragraph before this one, is a running theme these days).

When all is said and done I am thankful for this past year. In addition to the professional changes which occurred I was single and lived alone the entire year. For the 1st time since I was a 23 year old moron I took time to be by myself, with myself…to figure out what the hell I was doing and what I needed to do to get to where I ultimately want to be. I’m not sure where this next year will take me but I know it will be on my terms. I figured out what kind of people I’m looking to have in my life and what kind of people I am not. I let painful things go and I did not follow them where they went. They left and I waved at them instead. I sat still in the discomfort of change and let it take over, let it do its thing. Now on the other side I am finding new people, new experiences, new ways of looking at the world. I am closer to free than I have ever been though I am, as ever, a work in progress.

I hope you all have a happy new year! Be who you are and don’t worry about what the world thinks. The world is most likely wrong about you anyhow.

xxLL

P.S. – Speaking of progress, below is a photo of my bald ass without a hat. That’s right. I’m coming out as a 31 year old bald man. Eat it up, popworld. Also: DUH. Why else would I have been wearing a hat in every photo and video ever taken of me since 2000???!!! I’ve been wearing a hat since I was 21 and have been bald this whole fucking time. Deal with it, gays. The shit’s real.

The reaction to my new record in the press has been really great so far. Lots of love from Europe again this time around! The latest installment is an interview I did with German Queer music and politics blog CATCH FIRE! They went live with it today alongside a free MP3 download of “Smoke Rings” (song 2 on “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday“). You can read it via their site HERE or just keep reading below for the full transcript.

From CATCH FIRE: (11/2/2010)

“After going on US tour this summer, Logan Lynn, the winner of last year’s Queer Video Music Award, has announced in August that he would be taking an extended break from the music industry and leave “Beat The World Records”, a label founded and led by the Dandy Warhols. Instead he released his fourth record “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday”, the follow-up to “From Pillar To Post” independently in August, donating 100% of his profits to Portland’s Q Center where he is currently working. What led the songwriter to all these decisions and how they influenced his life he explains in an interview I did with him via email during the last two weeks. I also posted “Smoke Rings”, another track from “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday” right below this introduction – the track is the perfect background music for the following text. A second free song from the album called “Things Are Looking Up” can be found in one of October’s Music Tickers.

(DOWNLOAD “SMOKE RINGS” FREE BY CLICKING HERE!)

Catch Fire: What interests me first of all is the question if you’d consider your new album “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday” a “conceptual album”. To me especially compared to the stuff you’ve done before it seems very consistent, as if the decision to do this kind of eighties-pop-influenced dance music may have been a very concious decision.

Catch Fire: Logan Lynn’s album “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday” can be downloaded via Itunes. The physical release is slated for December 28th.”

Today is my birthday. In fact, I’m turning 31 while I type this. I can’t believe how old I used to think 31 was. As it turns out, it’s not very old at all. I suppose we can just add that to the enormous pile of things I’ve been completely wrong about in my years on this earth. As giant mistake piles go, it’s impressive.

Last year I wrote some super intense, late-night bullshit about turning 30 because I had worked myself up into a tizzy about where I was at in my life…and where I was headed. In the 12 months since, I have worked tirelessly to disintegrate the life I was upset about and as a result I think I’m actually going to enjoy my birthday this year.

Things are good for the first time in a really long time. Thanks for all the love, folks.

The end.

After over 7 years of living together and watching him do this trick I have never once been able to capture it on video. He always stops right as I begin to shoot. This time I had the camera in my hand and finally captured him in all his weird glory.

Just a quick FYI before you watch: I am not the one who did this to his hair. I left him with an old friend who I hadn’t seen in like 10 years while I was on tour and when I came back he looked like this (and had black mascara all over his face)!!! Anyway, send your angry animal abuse letters to her cuz it wasn’t me. My ass didn’t do it.

It’s been about 2 months since I broke my world apart and set off to build a new one. My advice to all of you is this: If you’re miserable, leave. If you don’t like the boat you’re in, poke holes in it & sink it to the bottom. The rest of the world awaits you.

Thanks so much for all of your generosity in giving to the Q Center by way of sales from my new record as well as non-musical donations made on my behalf over the past 6 weeks! It has been great to accomplish what I set out to do and I would not have been able to were it not for you!

In preparation for my big farewell show tomorrow (Friday, August 20th, 2010) at Mississippi Studios in Portland (where this whole crazy music thing began for me) Just Out Newsweekly ran a follow-up story today on their blog as part 2 to the interview they ran in this week’s paper. Check out today’s story HERE. You can also read the interview which ran in print in this past week’s paper HERE if ya wanna.

I really hope to see you at tomorrow’s show, friends! It’s going to be quite the spectacle. Tickets and info HERE. One last dance before I go…

For those of you who don’t like redirecting to other sites, you can read part 2 of my interview with Just Out below:

“In the current issue of Just Out, we sat down with Portland’s own Logan Lynn to discuss the recent announcement of his self-proclaimed “career suicide,” an indefinite hiatus from the music business. After a string of dates on the Pride circuit, tomorrow night’s show at Mississippi Studios marks the “farewell” performance for Lynn and his band, The Gentry, for the foreseeable future.

Logan Lynn and the Gentry will perform — in all likelihood sans boas or wigs — their “farewell” show on Friday night, August 20 at Mississippi Studios (3939 N. Mississippi). Show starts at 10 p.m. Matrimony and DJ Girlfriends support. Tickets are $9.50. Visit loganlynnmusic.com for more information and details on donating to Q Center in exchange for Lynn’s new, unfinished album, I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday.”

Last week I sat down with the editor of Portland Newsweekly Just Out (Amanda Schurr) to chat about my announced departure from my current life in Musicworld. A man has his reasons. If you care to know more, pick up a copy or keep reading below. To read the online version CLICK HERE or to download the PDF version of the 2 page ordeal, click the following two links: Page 34 – Page 35

I love how Just Out never twists my words or calls me fat and ugly. BEST. GAY. PAPER. EVER.

From Just Out: (8/6/2010)

“Will Work for Good : Portland pop dynamo Logan Lynn quits music, for now…

Logan Lynn and The Gentry give their “farewell” performance at 9 p.m. Friday, August 20 at Mississippi Studios (3939 N. Mississippi). Matrimony and DJ Girlfriends support. Tickets are $8. To listen to Lynn’s new, unfinished album, I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday, visit loganlynnmusic.com. Visit blogout.justout.com for the full interview with Just Out.”

Q Town Magazine interviewed me for this month’s issue (on stands now in Virginia, online HERE. Check out the full transcript below! I talk about the usual things people talk about in interviews: cocaine, butt sex, being a jerk, fucking my life up, Jesus, etc.

From Q TOWN Magazine (August 2010 Issue):

It’s been quite a trip for Portland electronica artist Logan Lynn. From his first studio album, This Is Folk Techno in 1998 to his latest From Pillar To Post, Lynn transports us away to his buzzing trance-like world. Famous for edgy lyrics and playful beats, Lynn creates excitement on MTV, Logo, VH1, Spike and in the pulsating indie music scene.

Q town recently caught up with Logan to chat about hooking up with The Dandy Warhols, his connection to his fans, and how queer culture influences the mainstream.

QT: Your style has been called electro-house mixed with folk, which is a really interesting combination. How did these two come together for you?

LL: I was always really interested in both genres separately growing up and coming into my own musically as a songwriter. At some point in the late 90′s I started blending the two together. Back then nobody really understood what I was doing. I would have shows and people would just stand there and scratch their heads. I could tell they were like “What the hell is this guy doing?”, but that was mostly because they just had no reference point. That was WAY before The Postal Service or some of those groups that came along in the mid 2000′s. Once that all started getting big is when people really started to gravitate to my music. I repackaged and re-released the same record in 2005 that I had released in 2000 and the reaction was amazing so I immediately recorded all the songs I had been writing during that 5 year hiatus from making records and got the ball rolling for my self-titled record in 2006. I’m glad people get it now.

QT: How did you hook up with the indie-rock band The Dandy Warhols and what has that experience been like for you?

LL: I was working on an ad campaign for a company in Los Angeles in 2005 & we hired a photographer from Portland named Ray Gordon who I ended up partying with for days in LA. He fell in love with some of the new material I played him and just happened to be really good friends with Courtney Taylor-Taylor (the Dandys’ frontman). He knew they were starting a label, Courtney and I met, he got really into my record, they signed me in 2007 and released my last record “From Pillar To Post” on their Beat The World label in 2009. It has been really great to have access to their studio and to be able to learn from them. It has been quite the journey from there to here.

QT: Can you tell us the inspiration to the lyrics behind your sharply-titled single, “Bottom your way to the top”?

LL: Well, I was in a very long-term relationship that started ending in 2007, but eluded finality until a little over a year ago. At one point, as our 6 years together were dissolving, the words “Just go and bottom your way to the top, then” was yelled my way….so I wrote a song about it. That whole record (“From Pillar To Post”) is about that time in my life. I was immersed in cocaine partyworld and was losing my love. I didn’t react very well to the breakup initially. I acted out in ways that were, well…song-worthy.

QT: We really love the video for “Bottom your way to the top”. In addition to being a musician you’re also a visual artist. Did you help contribute to the concept behind the video?

LL: Nice one! Thanks. I am always involved in some aspect of everything, but I think much of my success has been found in letting the people I work with do their jobs (be it on songs or videos). I have yet to drink my own Kool-Aid to the point where I think I know how to do everything better than everyone else. That’s bullshit. Anyway, the director Jeffrey McHale (from Chicago) had a very clear vision. I came to him because I felt like he and I had a similar point of view. It turned out that we did. He introduced me to an illustrator named John Parot who came on board to illustrate the video which Jeff then animated. Interestingly enough, John Parot is a contestant on Bravo’s “Work Of Art: The Search For The Next Great Artist” this season. He does amazing work. I love that we got him on that video. His drawings are really what next-leveled that one.

QT: What would you say is the best part of being a performer?

LL: I love the connections I make with people. I think because my songs are so personal they tend to find people that are similar to me. That’s been the case thusfar at least. That connection, that shrinking of the world to a size I can deal with, has been the best part of all of this so far. I like feeling like my crazy is understandable my hundreds of thousands of people. Like…other people aren’t running away from my ugly parts on display so maybe I’m not such a fucking psycho after all?

QT: You’ve been a fixture on MTV, VH1, Spike TV and Logo Online and you’ve got a huge following. How did it feel to break into the biz?

LL: It felt different than I thought it was going to. It is amazing that I get to live out my lifelong dreams and have been able to get to the point I’m at currently with this whole thing…but I’ll be honest and say that I always had it in my mind that I would get here and suddenly be happy, suddenly feel like I belong. Unfortunately, that is not the case so I’ve had to mourn the loss of that delusional notion as it has become clear that there just simply is no golden ticket. I love singing, I love writing, I love that there are so many people who feel a connection with me and my songs…but it’s isolating, too. That’s sort-of the nature of the beast I guess…but I wasn’t prepared for that part. It gets lonely on the island, ya know?

QT: Do you think the queer community has more of a cutting-edge taste in music?

LL: I think it’s possible, but I tend to think of the queer community as equally diverse as the rest of the world which means that statement only applies to SOME queers. There has always been a queer underground that has influenced the mainstream, though. That part is safe to say with total assurance. I’m hesitant to say that we are more cutting-edge as a community after playing all these gay pride shows this Summer though. There are just as many lame fags with bad taste as there are lame straight people with bad taste. Being stupid is universal.

QT: Growing up in the Midwest, you were really influenced by the rave scene – where did the folk influence come from?

LL: I blame The Innocence Mission, The Sundays, Joni Mitchell, Tori Amos, Liz Phair and all the other folky singer-songwriter-y alterna-ladies I grew up listening to. Emotional songs have always been a part of my life. I listen to the same shit now that I listened to 20 years ago. I am just as inspired by The Innocence Mission’s music today as I have ever been. There is much of me that doesn’t change as time goes by. I listen to new stuff as well, but I have my roots planted firmly in old Sundays and Innocence Mission records from the 90′s. It’s real.

QT: Not many people have performed in front of a crowd of 400,000, let alone for their first time performing live. Did that totally freak you out or did it just come naturally?

LL: It totally freaked me out, as has every performance since. (Laughs) It’s gotten a lot better in recent years but I have had to deal with working through some pretty crippling stage fright. It’s still with me, but I am so many years in at this point that the fear has left except for a split second before I go on stage. Once I’m out there I am good to go…it’s the getting me on stage that’s the hard part. I had to kinda relearn how to be vulnerable in front of a crowd when I got clean in 2007. It was suddenly scary again…but having done this sober for so long now I honestly can’t imagine trying to do it wasted. Progress…

QT: Do you find it easier to write music and lyrics now after getting clean?

LL: It’s definitely easier to feel things now, so yeah. I think so. It’s different for sure. I think this new record I just finished recording sounds smarter…like I have my words back or something. When I listen to these new songs I hear someone who is much more sure of himself than on records past. I’m not so lost, the lyrics aren’t hopeless anymore. It’s more confused now than hopeless which seems like a step in the right direction…for my mind, at least. I was worried about cleaning up, like that I would lose my outlook, or like that maybe the drugs were my link to the creative world but that all turned out to be junkie bullshit I was feeding myself to authorize otherwise completely unacceptable behavior. If anything my career took off and my writing got better when I quit killing myself. Go figure.

QT: Are you seeing anyone special right now?

LL: No. I’m finally at a place where I would be open to someone’s specialness, though. Bring it on, universe!

QT: What kind of guys are you into?

LL: I like nice guys who tell the truth and don’t give a shit about being famous.

QT: What was it like coming out to your fundamentalist Christian family?

LL: It was hard back then, but I was like 14 years old and it was before “Will and Grace” had won over the hearts of middle America so…it would have been hard no matter who I was telling. In the end, we have all grown together as a family and I’m glad that things went down the way they did. I am very close to my parents now. None of us are who we used to be. It’s great.

QT: From your experience, what’s your advice to someone who wants to come out to a religious

LL: Don’t listen to them. They are ALL wrong about you and they are ALL wrong about the world.

QT: Where can people find your music?

LL: It’s pretty much everywhere these days. I always tell people that if they buy stuff directly from the store on my site the chances that I will see some of the money go up and the evil middlemen stand to make less…but my music is available on iTunes, Amazon, CD Baby, Target.com, Barnes & Noble, Tower Records, etc. if you prefer to give the evil middlemen a cut. I’m also on Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, DList, Last.Fm, iLike, and a bunch of other sites online where you can stream my tunes.

Hey folks. Well, it’s been quite a week. I figured out how to embed YouTube playlists finally so I decided to post the full record (rough mix, unmastered) here so you could hear it! As of now there are no plans to release it in place so…I figured why not post it while it’s fresh. The last hoorah may as well have a soundtrack, right?

Logan Lynn: “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday” (2010, Unreleased)
All songs by Logan Lynn & Bryan Cecil.

1. Smoke Rings
2. Things Are Looking Up
3. Velocity
4. Quickly As We Pass
5. Tennis Whites
6. I Erased Who I Was For You
7. It’s Too Late
8. Fly Me Through
9. A Hundred Years Of Letting Me Down
10. Fall Into New Arms

Hey everybody. As I near the 10 year anniversary of my debut record, “GLEE” (which was originally released in October of 2000) I’ve been thinking a lot about all the years from there to here. I have come to some conclusions not only about the journey I’ve been on since then musically and in my personal life, but also the journey I intend to be on moving forward with both.

OK, so…the title of this post is a bit dramatic and unfair. 2009 actually brought with it some really amazing things. My new record “From Pillar To Post” was released and was received better than my little brain could have imagined…First by the press, then by all of you guys. It’s been really great to finally get to share where I’ve been since 2007 with you after going into hiding shortly after I got signed with “Beat The World”. Thanks so much for listening, for helping to spread the word about my tunes, and for reminding me constantly why it is that I write songs in the first place.

On the flipside to all of this professional joy, the past year has been quite a journey for me personally. 2009 was the first year since 1994 where no Alcohol or Cocaine entered my body. Like…NONE. I got clean in the beginning of 2008, so it was tainted by a couple of months of freebasing and I didn’t quit drinking until December of ’08…but this year was clean, start to finish. I’m nearing the 2 year anniversary of my last journey to cracked-out partytown…I know for normal people that doesn’t seem like a very big deal, but for me and for anyone who has ever known or loved me, it’s noteworthy. I’m finally at a point with the getting well that it’s not such a constant struggle to function. All I really have to say about that is…FUCK YES!!! FINALLY!!!!!

At this point, I have torn down every part of my old life and am about to start over. After over 6 years of moving in one direction together, my partner and I split up in July and I’ve spent much of the past 6 months since just regrouping, catching my breath, mourning the loss of that companionship (and that of one of my dogs, Spike, who went to live with “other dad” when he left), and making a new plan. I made decisions this year that kicked me WAY out of my comfort zone and have left me feeling vulnerable and beyond frightened at times, but I’ve managed to navigate through and have finally hit the light at the end of the dark tunnel. I feel great sorrow for this loss in my life, and it is a neon example of how some things which I broke when I was high are just unfixable, no matter how hard anyone tries. I wish him nothing but the greatest happiness and hope the new year brings peace and healing for both of our sad, broken hearts.

That same week in July I went to stay with my Mom and Dad in the Oregon desert. We spent the first part of the week in a raw emotional state, talking out old festering wounds and repairing cracks in the foundation of our family unit that had been made long ago. We cried for the better part of the week, but managed to come back together at some point while I was there. That time with them is the most beautiful experience I’ve had in my life so far and things are forever changed as a result of those moments together.

I’ve made a lot of new friends this year and am really excited to be starting a new decade this week with all of you in tow. I feel light again, like things are clearing up. I am determined to bring my personal life up to speed with my professional life this year…gonna make some happy stuff happen!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!!! See you on the 7th at Doug Fir in Portland! It’s gonna be a really good show. “Cars & Trains” and “The Gentry” rule the skool.

xxLL

I was interviewed by “Oregon Music News” last week and the story went live today. To check it out, CLICK HERE or you can read the full transcript below. The story will also be running on the homepage of the “Oregon Music News” website this Sunday, so…YAY. Thanks, OMN! I love it when magazines print my words as I say them instead of picking and choosing little snippets and making me sound stupid.

Here’s the transcript, folks:

From “Oregon Music News” (11/19/2009)

“Logan Lynn makes emotronic, electropop. A gay man from America’s heartland, raised in a family of cult-like, born-again Christians, he’s found a way out of some dark, lost days. Influenced by folk music growing up and DJs in Chicago, Logan’s demo was titled This Is Folk Techno. Sentimental lyrics paired with capricious electro-beats, Logan’s sound ranges from dejected to dancey, creating moods that resemble The Postal Service. Relishing in Portland’s creativity, Logan is signed to The Dandy Warhols’ label Beat The World and is becoming a people person. He celebrates his new album From Pillar To Post with a listening party on Sunday, November 22nd at Jinx Bar with The Dandy’s Zia McCabe spinning records as DJ Rescue, but before the drinks, Logan chats about being emo, hiding under the sheets, and grandma’s adages.”

OMN: Are you emo? What’s wrong with that word? Or is it just right?

LL: Well, that depends. If “emo” is short for “emotional” and you are asking if I think my music is that, I would answer “yes.” If you mean “emo” in the traditional sense of the word (aka 18-year-old high school kids wearing shit tons of eyeliner and whining about their girlfriends and parents), then the answer is “no.” I’m fine with the word having been slowly attached to me over the years… I think that, as the definition changes with the addition of “emotronic” and other sub-categories within the genre, it makes more sense. I have made peace with the fact that I am hard to categorize at times, both in music and in life.

OMN: Who is Logan Lynn personally? Musically?

LL: Well, I’ve spent years trying to make those two match up. I think I am finally there these days, or at least on my way to being there. My main goal for myself both musically and personally is to exist in a place of transparency and truth. I believe that the only way we can ever really be free is to look at ourselves honestly and project that truth into the world, however ugly or beautiful it might be looking or sounding at any given moment.

Similarly, musically, I am an open book. I want people to either connect to me and my tunes with the full story or decide that it’s not their bag, having heard me as I really am. I’m pretty sure that the day I start candy-coating my lyrics will be the day I stop caring about music and having listeners. Bottom line: I’m an imperfect work in progress and am fine just being that during my time here… so long as I am always learning, always growing, and doing my best to not repeat the same mistakes over and over, I’m into it.

OMN: What kinda music do you make? How did you develop your sound?

LL: I have always fallen into the electropop category, though I tend to move around within that genre quite a bit. By 1996 I had DJ’d other people’s music in the Midwest party scene for years and always listened to folk music and sensitive female vocalists growing up, so when I started writing songs of my own there were elements of both worlds of inspiration brought into the mix.

I hooked up with a Portland producer named Pfog in 1998 who had gotten his hands on a demo I had self-released called This Is Folk Techno. We spent a year or so working on GLEE, which was released in 2000, and I have since worked with a bunch of producers, each time changing the sound of the music a bit.

The instrumental side of my sound develops as I get the opportunity to work with other talented folks who know how to do and play things which don’t fall under my expertise. My lyrics and vocal work tend to grow sonically as I push myself out of my comfort zone, let go of my deep-seeded fears about being exposed or rejected, and grow personally.

OMN:There’s a bit of a dichotomy to your music. Uppy beats paired with sad lyrics.

LL: Yeah, I’m guessing that is partially about my dance music influences creeping in and partially a protective mechanism for myself. I write about my feelings as they are (as opposed to how I wish they would be) and it’s scary to put that out there with people you know, much less the world at large. With my songs, I tend to dive headfirst into my darker parts at times and let people just crawl into my head with me to check things out for themselves. The idea that people can go there in an enjoyable way makes it easier for me to put my words onto paper or into the air in the first place.

I like that I can have more than one type of listener and that the songs themselves can be absorbed in different ways by the same listener, depending on the day. If you feel like dancing or if you feel like going fetal in your bed under the blanket with headphones, it can work for both.

I make music to clear my head, to shrink my world to a manageable size, to not feel so fucking all alone all the time. It’s nice to know that other people are finding a home with my songs and feeling these same sorts of feelings. The connection that is made there goes both ways and has been really life-changing on this end.

OMN: How does your music help you release and express yourself?

LL: It used to be that the only time I was able to be truthful about how I felt was through my songs and writing. That’s not the case anymore, but I started making records for that reason alone, never really thinking anyone would ever hear them aside from my friends, family, and people who I could not otherwise communicate with. It started as a safe way for me to get the shit that was literally killing me out of my skull so I could move past it, and has continued to be that sort of outlet for me. Once I have turned my broken feelings into a story or a physical product of some sort, they tend to start to fix themselves. It’s like therapy, only super public.

OMN: Tell me about Portland. We all love it here. Why do you?

LL: Yeah! I love it here too. I moved here in ‘96 back when what is now The Pearl looked like an abandoned railway system and the air smelled like rotten Spaghetti-O’s from all the breweries. I got here just as the current music scene was really starting to form and got to watch it grow into what it is today and be a part of it as it formed. I’ve moved away a couple of times since for brief stints in bigger cities, but I always come back. It’s clean, beautiful, quiet, inexpensive, you don’t have to pump your own gas, and there’s tons of stuff going on. How could I ever move?

OMN: How did you end up in Portland?

LL: I moved here from Kansas City to go to school. My parents lived out here and I had come out to visit. It took one magical night at The City nightclub during that trip and I had decided that PNCA was the only school in the entire world. I ended up moving here shortly after.

OMN: How did your upbringing influence your music?

LL: I was raised the son of a preacher in the Church of Christ, which was a very cult-like section of the born-again world… at least where I was in rural Nebraska. Most of the fears and difficulties I have faced as I have tried to move into adulthood were adopted back then. I grew up feeling alone, hidden in plain sight. I could not be myself in that environment so I had to lie about who I was, which led me down a really dark path for many years. That darkness and those feelings of isolation and regret all play into my writing now and always have. I think, in general, it’s unsettling to turn your back on everything you’ve ever known and break out on your own. It certainly was for me.

OMN: What’s the connection to the Dandys? How’d that happen?

LL: In 2007 I was working with a company in Portland that was designing and building stores for American Apparel. I was in Los Angeles on business for a photo shoot with photographer Ray Gordon and gave him my CD. He liked it and it just happened to turn out that he was good friends with Courtney (Taylor-Taylor) from The Dandy Warhols. Ray ended up passing the CD along to him and, from there, they came to my show for MusicfestNW and we set up a meeting. I came by The Odditorium later that week and Courtney told me about the record label they were starting and asked if I’d be interested in making my record there and releasing it on Beat The World. I think I said “Hell Yes” or something and the rest is totally awesome history.

OMN: I’m confused. Why have I read things about From Pillar To Post being slated for release in 2007? In any case, tell us about the new record and how it came to be.

LL: Yeah, it’s confusing. I was about to release the record on my own in 2007 right when I got signed with Beat The World. Courtney’s advice was that I “shut it down” and re-make the thing properly in their studio with their engineers, which I did. It had the same title and a few of the same songs, but it ultimately turned out completely different than it was before. Listening to Mr. Taylor-Taylor in 2007 was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Anyway, it got pushed back and we ended up taking our time with it. From there, the release has changed, bigger players have come on board for distribution and such, dates have changed, etc… but the end result is light years beyond what it would have been and I’m really glad it has worked out the way it did… confusing pushbacks and all.

OMN: What’s the significance of the album title?

LL: My grandma used to say the term From Pillar To Post when describing her busy day, or someone whose life had run amuck at church or in the family or whatever. It stuck with me through the years and it took on some personal meaning as I started to run amuck in my own life, burning bridges as I crossed them, hurting everyone in my path. The record is about my journey through the ending of my relationship, my struggles with addiction, and my determination to find truth and light amidst lies and darkness, both internal and external. The record is all one story broken up into segments with song beginnings and endings, but is a snapshot of my life from that time.

OMN: What instruments do you play? How did other artists help you on your new album?

LL: I fancy myself a singer/songwriter and I can play very basic keys and guitar, mostly from having lessons when I was a kid… just enough to build the framework. I played most all the instruments on my records before 2007 rolled around and I started working with Carlos Cortes from Portland-to-Brooklyn DJ Collective Assemble The Empire. Our connection was fast and he was on-point with what I was wanting to see happen with my music.

We worked well together and, through our network and The Dandys’ network, we were able to work with TONS of people on the record and even more people after the fact with the remix project. I got loads of help this time around. That’s why it sounds so much better than the old stuff. I stopped being a control freak and let other people do what they are good at. It worked out.

OMN: What about online collaboration? What role has MySpace and the internet played in your career?

LL: MySpace basically lit the fire for what is happening in my world now. I was super behind the times until 2006 when my friend forced me to get a MySpace page going. Within a few weeks I had started building up an online group of listeners and started booking shows… the first of which was at the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. There were over 400,000 people in attendance and it was wild but turned some key people onto my music. Things snowballed from there. I have, since then, been building relationships with fans and listeners and the sea of people has grown quite large at this point. I owe a lot to that direct connection with the people and tend to put most of my non-musical energy into that side of things these days.

OMN: Who are your influences? Where does your sound come from?

LL: I’m influenced by all sorts of stuff. I’m obviously influenced directly by the bands around me these days. Aside from the other bands on my label (The Dandy Warhols, The Upsidedown, Spindrift, and 1776) I’m surrounded by other artists in town who are doing their thing authentically, getting noticed, and making it happen. I’m lucky that I am in such close proximity to them. I get to learn their music industry lessons vicariously.

At the root, much of my writing influence stems from years and years of listening to bands like The Innocence Mission, The Sundays, and whatever folksy stuff my parents had playing in the car while I was a kid. Blend in the early years of singing a capella in the church and the wild partying techno days which followed and you get my sound. I spent a lot of time listening to solo artists like Tori Amos, Elliott Smith, and Liz Phair as I was growing up, and I’m sure that being drawn into their heads during my formative years influenced what it means to me to be a songwriter in many ways. I was like a sponge back then, and I still feel a deep connection with many of their songs.

OMN: What are you listening to right now?

LL: Emily Haines…always.

OMN: Describe Logan Lynn in three words.

LL: Grateful, Hopeful, Irrepressibly Optimistic…. wait, that was 4. Sorry.

OMN: Now Logan Lynn’s music in three.

LL: Atmospheric, Moody, Electro-pop. Whoopsies… that was kinda 4 too.

OMN: What’s your live performance like?

LL: It’s similar to what you would see if you went to see a singer-songwriter, only instead of guitars and pianos accompanying my voice, I have someone running computers, drumpads, loopers, and gadgets.

OMN: Where can we see you?

LL: I have a big PDX show with Cars & Trains and The Gentry at the Doug Fir on January 7th.

OMN: Any awkward moments on stage?

LL: I exist in a place of supreme awkwardness in my life lately as I’ve been doing things on the sober tip and sorta re-learning how to be, but my shows have actually gotten less awkward as a result. I think the strangest show we had was in New York City in 2007. We played a Dlist.com party called Cornhole County and there was a drag queen running a petting zoo as the opening act. It was bizarre, to say the least. This baby goat kept chewing on our cords and we spent most of the night trying not to sneeze and picking tiny pieces of straw off our clothes.

For more information on “Oregon Music News”, CLICK HERE.

Last week I chatted with “The Stonewall Society” and our interview premiered last night at 8pm EST on “Rainbow World Radio”. PC users, have a listen HERE. MAC users, HERE. Count how many times I say “Awesome” in just one hour on the radio!

“Like…Like…Awesome!”

Happy listening, folks.

For more information on “The Stonewall Society” and “Rainbow World Radio”, CLICK HERE.

It’s November…FREE SONG TIME!!! This month is bringing with it lots of change in my life, so I figured I’d give away a track that fits with that theme. You can download ODD YEAR’s Remix of my song “If He Hollers” (off my new record “From Pillar To Post”) by clicking the widget below.

This song is about changing yourself, becoming someone you might not have thought you would ever become, and where to go from there…but this version of it is mostly about DANCING!!! Happy downloading to you! Feel free to pass this puppy along to your friends. If you click “SHARE” on the widget it will let you post it elsewhere automatically.

“I just keep thanking my stars that we are not who we thought we would be…”