(Originally Published on The Huffington Post on 5/7/2012)

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a hero lately, spawned mostly by my recent involvement in a project called Queer Heroes NW, created in partnership with Q Center (Portland’s LGBTQ Community Center) and GLAPN (the Gay & Lesbian Archives of the Pacific Northwest). The idea behind the endeavor was to focus in on individuals who have helped shape the local LGBT movement here in Oregon and southwest Washington, honor them for making our community safer over the years, and teach a new generation about how we got here from there.

Often, when I think of the history of the gay rights movement, only of a few select big-name activists come to mind. It’s easy to forget about all the people who didn’t make the papers or have a movie made about their impact, and in so doing, we skip over the people who have put their neck on the line for our local communities, with little or no recognition in return. Part of the goal in creating Queer Heroes NW was to secure these brave souls a permanent spot in our queer history, and also to thank them for the work they have done to make us free and keep us free.

Over the years I have had many people touch my life in heroic ways. I was always picked on for being perceived as “girly” or “gay” growing up, and by the time I reached high school, the bullying was unbearable (like it is for many gay kids). I had one teacher who stepped into the role of queer hero #1 on the first day of my freshman year. His classroom instantly became a safe haven for me, and I knew that I could always count on him to stand up for me, shut down the meanness, and help cultivate allies with the other kids in my class through his teachings of acceptance around diversity. He was not gay himself, and I’m sure this was not a popular role for him to take on with other teachers or the administration, but he never backed down. Every day from the time I arrived in his classroom to the time I left, he was in my court. There were times when he would watch to make sure I was safe during lunch, and there was a whole year when he walked behind me as I went from his classroom to the next one. We made a deal that he would walk far enough back that none of the other kids would know, but close enough that people would be on their best behavior, thus creating a hedge of protection of sorts around me. This was a brave move on the part of this kind man. The safety and support he provided me was enough to keep me in school and earn him the title of “queer hero” then, and still to this day.

Years later, as I was struggling to make it in the music industry, another kind man named Perry Turcotte reached out to me and offered to place my music videos in a new show he was producing for MTV, called NewNowNext, which would air on a brand-new network experiment aimed toward the LGBT community, called Logo. I of course jumped at the chance. From there, he basically took me under his MTV-artist-development wing, flying me out to New York City to be interviewed, airing my videos in heavy rotation on the channel, and eventually having me host the show and appear in commercial spots for the network. He believed in me, in my music, and in my then-unknown ability to speak publicly about my experience as a gay man in a straight world. He saw something in me that I had yet to look at, and in doing so he really set me up for every bit of success I have had in the years since. His efforts to honor my queer voice and push me out into the mainstream as myself were heroic not just for me but for queer people everywhere who had, up to that point, not seen my kind of queer on their TV screens. What Perry did for our movement in helping to create and cultivate Logo (which, in the years since, has become a cultural force to be reckoned with), and what he did for me both professionally and personally, has earned him the #2 spot on my queer hero list.

At the end of 2010, a third queer hero landed in my world. After years of loneliness and isolation following years of sorrow and disappointment, I met a sweet, gentle, beautiful man. For the first time in my life, another living creature was able to touch me physically in ways that did not freak me out, trigger or confuse me, or in any way resemble the horrors of abuse that I had endured as a young child. This man could really see me, and he was able to meet me where I was right then and honor that space, something no one else had been able to do before (or had even tried to do). A great sense of calm came over me the first time we were naked together. I was not afraid to be close to him, and I actually enjoyed feeling vulnerable with him. The experience of letting go and trusting this person to take me somewhere new during those initial encounters was both healing and spiritual. His patience with me, his willingness to wake me up from the living nightmare I had been playing out for decades, and his continued love, patience, and compassion since have changed me forever. To be kind is one of the most heroic things a person can do. It seems so simple when you think about it, but it’s actually quite rare to find someone who is willing to kiss your scars. This is the stuff queer heroes are made of.

Who are your queer heroes? Have there been people in your life who have celebrated your existence in ways that have left you changed, made your world safer, or helped you along in your journey toward freedom? I encourage you to honor these people however you can, even if it’s just by paying the kindness forward and stepping into the role of hero to someone else now.

You don’t need superpowers to save someone’s life. Sometimes all it takes is being there.

Watch my PSA for Queer Heroes NW:

(Originally Published on The Huffington Post on 4/26/2012)

This week I had the pleasure of meeting up with famed New York cabaret songstress Lady Rizo on the eve of the first of two Portland, Ore. shows along her in-progress West Coast tour. We chatted backstage, and I took some photos while she transformed herself into the glamorous creature she was clearly born to be, a sultry, seductive woman whose stage presence, voice, and quick wit rendered me (and the rest of the room) completely speechless for the duration of the evening.

Lady Rizo is stunningly herself onstage, in one of the most authentic ways I have ever experienced. It is a gift possessed by few in this world, so if you have the opportunity to share in it with her, take it! I feel transformed by the spectacle of love, passion, and pure, unbridled talent I witnessed onstage that evening. I mean, who needs drugs with Rizo around?!

Do yourself a favor and get to know her right now. Mark my words: This woman is about to take over the entire world.

Here is our chat.

Hey, pretty lady! Thanks for taking some time to catch up with me before the show. For readers who may not already be familiar with you and your work, how would you describe what you do?

I am a singer, comedienne, chanteuse-y diva who performs in glamorous gowns and lashes. I theatrically explore pop and rock songs, write my own arrangements for them, and perform them in intimate cabaret settings. I have a dirty mind but usually deliver my humor bathed in a vague class that distracts you from the filth. I now also sing my own songs.

I enjoy your dirty mind very much. How is it being back on the West Coast? You’re from around here, correct?

I love the West Coast. Yes, I was raised in an intentionally artistic community by a troupe of theater hippies on the Oregon beach. It always takes me a second to readjust to the slower, relaxed pace here and the fact that waiters will smile at you. But I love it — and I love being a bridge between.

Right. Friendly servers is a real treat that comes with living here for sure. When did you move to New York? Did you move there with a mission, or has all of this come about organically?

I moved to N.Y.C. in 2004. Oh, yes, I had a mission: to continue my work as in the theater. However, when I moved there, I found that I needed to have a different game plan. I was not willing to play the role as a pleading actress, blindly sending out headshots and résumés in hopes that I could get an agent. I knew that bitterness and lack of control over my career would creep in and destroy what spark I had. I thought maybe I could perform in a cabaret setting, producing my own shows and showing my skills under my own terms. Then they would all be begging for me to come join projects. It worked eventually, but it took seven years.

Seven years is a long time to stay focused on a particular vision. I’m really glad you stuck it out! Do you have plans to tour more this year, or are you staying put once you wrap up this coastal adventure you are currently on?

I’ll be in Europe quite a bit this year. All of August I’ll be at the Edinburgh Festival at the Assembly Room. I’m very excited, because it will open me up to a whole world market. Global domination! Also, I’ll be there for Young Jean Lee’s provocative theater piece The Untitled Feminist Show that I was a co-collaborator on last year. It premiered at the Walker Center and then had a sold-out run at Baryshnikov in January.

I can’t wait for you to take over the world! Frankly, the world needs you and your spirit (fingers). Speaking of spirit fingers, you have quite the gay following. Do you consider yourself a queer performer?

Yes. Absolutely!! I don’t often subscribe to heteronormative thought patterns. I surround myself with others who consider themselves queer. I don’t rally against the mainstream as much as just live along side it… and the truth is, Lady Rizo is a decadently healthy temptation for all genders and persuasions.

Truer words have never been spoken. You starred in legendary performance artist Taylor Mac’s The Lily’s Revenge in 2008. How was the experience of working with him?

Taylor Mac is an American treasure. The Lily’s Revenge was so bold, smart, inclusive, and enjoyable. Taylor asked me to do the show based on listening to my band rehearsal while he was taking a nap when we were both performing in the Motherlodge Festival in Louisville, Ky. When he said it would be a five-hour play — to build the feeling of community — I laughed with disbelief and said, “Maybe.”

I really never thought it could be as amazing, wildly popular, and moving as it was. There was a palpable feeling in the rehearsals that every one of the 45 collaborators who worked on the N.Y.C. premiere knew they were working on something special. Is it obvious that I love Taylor? He is one the people that you suffer all the crap of New York City to be near.

I love Taylor, too… but I would add that you are also an American treasure, so maybe it takes one to know one. You’ve been the inspiration behind many successful singers coming out of New York recently. How does it feel to be in that role?

I didn’t fully know this. I know that the work inspires many people but not specifically singers. The only thing that constantly pushes me forward is the thought that I artistically free up anyone. It makes me so happy. I know I need other brave souls to do that for me.

Nice. Well, now you fully know. While we are on the subject of singers you’ve inspired, Taylor Mac has been very open about how he feels about a certain pop singer also self-styled “Lady.” What are your thoughts on Gaga? Is imitation the sincerest form of flattery, or do you wish she would knock it off already?

I applaud those pop artists that commit to a look outside of the box, but Gaga’s music and stage performances don’t excite me. It’s hard to pinpoint what it is about her that makes me yawn, but I don’t think my resistance to her is jealousy or possessiveness about the “Lady” title. (Though let’s get one thing straight: I was a “Lady” when Gaga was a girl.) She doesn’t perform in a way that inspires intimacy or connectedness with the audience — or at least it doesn’t connect to me. You can be a diva and reign on stage, but for adults, you usually have to earn it with respecting them first.

You are very gracious, and I couldn’t agree with you more. Enough about Gaga, though. Who are some of the people who have inspired you over the years?

Nina Simone, Janis Joplin, Fran Lebowitz, Aretha Franklin, Marilyn Monroe, Peggy Lee, Lucille Ball, Jeff Buckley, James Brown, Prince, Etta James, Freddie Mercury.

That is a lovely list of names. I can see parts of you in all of them, actually… or them in you. While we are on the subject of lovely things, what’s love like for a supertalent like yourself? Are you singing about anyone special at the moment?

Love is good. My bed is warm. Always.

Warm beds are so important. Talk to me a bit about the new record you are currently touring. Who did you work with on the album?

The record is exciting. It contains a mix of new originals that I’m loving and arrangements of other songs I’ve performed in the last years. The feeling attempts to capture the varied styles I’ve been playing in while remaining true to my vocal signature. It ranges from cabaret stylings to ’60s rock to Klezmer to old-fashioned R&B. I’m working with Yair Evnine, who I’ve collaborated with for many years now as a musician and songwriting collaborator. It’s exciting to push our artistic relationship into the production side. We are recording the bulk of the album at a fantastic, old, carriage-house Brooklyn studio run by Ian Pai and Le Chev, who also work with Fischerspooner and Ssion.

That sounds amazing. Any music videos on the way?

Oh, yes, of course. You can’t survive these days without some solid content for the Interwebs. We have exciting videos in the works.

Yay! I am officially waiting with bated breath. If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be?

[Laughs.] Surely this is a joke question lifted from Teen Beat. I wouldn’t ever want to be anyone else than Lady Rizo.

Good answer. I do read a lot of Teen Beat, so it creeps in every so often. I can’t think of a single person I would like you to be, either… just hundreds of people I wish were more like Lady Rizo! Thanks so much for spending some time tonight, my dear. I should probably let you finish getting glammed up for the show and take my seat front and center. I wish you the best of luck on the rest of your tour and can’t wait to see what the coming months bring your way! Any famous last words for our readers before you take the stage and dazzle us with your sparkle?

Spread your span. Raise your hands. Sing this song of freedom. Thank you for supporting live entertainment.

For more on Lady Rizo, visit LadyRizo.com.

Those of you who live in Portland have probably already caught wind of the media blitz I have, once again, found myself in with regard to my ongoing small group dialogue project between members of the queer community and members of the Mars Hill Church. After this past week’s vandalism and threats (video below) Pastor Tim and I decided to go on OPB’s “Think Out Loud” today and talk about our experience together thusfar. It first aired this morning live at 9:00am and will air once more again this evening at 9:00pm, so tune in!

You can download the MP3 HERE.

If you care to catch up on everything that happened to get us here this week, follow the links and watch the video below:

Q Center’s Executive Director Speaks Out Against Threats of Violence
KGW News (NBC)
Fox 12 News
PQ Monthly (Article 1)
The Christian Post
PQ Monthly (Article 2)
The Oregonian
The Portland Mercury
KOIN 6 (CBS)
Rev. Chuck Currie

(Originally Published on The Huffington Post on 3/30/2012)

I’m going to Los Angeles this weekend to meet my man’s parents for the first time. I’m really excited to get to know the people who created this extraordinary creature I love so much, and it feels super special to have been invited to accompany him on the journey. So romantical!

At any rate, I figured that because I’m spun out all giddy-like on matters of the heart at the moment, it would be the perfect time for the second round of my ongoing interview series about love and relationships, “Queer Celebrities Need Love, Too.” For this edition I reached out to Imperial Teen‘s Will Schwartz, original Hole drummer Patty Schemel, TV personality Philip Tetro (from MTV Canada’s 1 Girl 5 Gays), transgender comedian Ian Harvie, New York Times bestselling author (and Madonna‘s brother) Christopher G. Ciccone, actor PJ DeBoy, radio talkshow host (and former Playgirl president) Daniel Nardicio, and Sexpop god Mario Diaz. They all weighed in on the same five questions:

1. If you had to sum up the entire history of your love life in one word, what would it be?

2. What’s your favorite on-screen romance of all time? What was it about their love that you liked?

3. Name something that’s a deal breaker for you in relationships.

4. What does a perfect day look like to you? Is it spent alone or with someone else?

5. If you could pick a theme song for that day, what would it be?

Here’s what they had to say about stuff (and things).

Will Schwartz

Will is a founding member of queer alt-rock supergroup Imperial Teen, as well as the brainchild behind indie pop outfit Hey Willpower. (Watch Imperial Teen’s “Runaway” video here.)

1. “Musical.”

2. Gena Rowlands and Peter Falk in A Woman Under the Influence comes to mind (their relationship in the first half of the film, anyway). She’s pretty crazy and inappropriate, but they share a deep and complicated sense of love and understanding of one another for a while. It doesn’t end so great, but it’s a powerful unconditional love message until things really go awry. I like Dudley and Liza in Arthur, also. I like that they’re goofballs and everything is absurd and funny to them, and they have their flaws but they accept one another. I mean it’s a bit cartoonish and codependent, but what isn’t?

3. No drive, terrible breath.

4. Oh, so many ways. Spent with someone else! Having had some really good news the night before (i.e., a song licensed, a Grammy nod), sleep in a beautiful luxury hotel with a best buddy, take a bath, eat a delicious breakfast, lay out by the pool and read trashy magazines, do a little exercise and some spa time, take a nap, get up and watch a little TV, go to an incredible restaurant for dinner, come back and watch a good movie. Or a similar day at a friend’s house in Joshua Tree or Valley Center, eating great food, hanging out with irreverent grandmas and dogs, cracking up all day with my pals, and doing home karaoke at night. Or writing and hanging out with Imperial Teen, Roddy cooking us dinner.

5. The Alessi Brothers’ “Seabird”:

Patty Schemel

Patty was the original drummer behind Courtney Love in the band Hole and is the subject of a new documentary titled Hit So Hard: The Life and Near Death Story of Patty Schemel (watch the trailer exclusively on iTunes here).

1. “Lessons.”

2. Beauty & the Beast, Jean Cocteau. His love was pure, and she was eventually able to look past his beastliness, which made him human in the end.

3. Dishonesty or no sense of humor.

4. Spent with my wife and daughter. It doesn’t matter what we do, as long as we are together!

5. Edward Sharp & the Magnetic Zeros’ “Home”:

Philip Tetro

Philip is a panelist on the MTV Canada show 1 girl 5 gays. (Watch him on Logo online here.)

1. “Uneventful.”

2. Juan and Eva Peron (Jonathan Pryce and Madonna) in Evita: the story of a woman who encounters endless heartbreak her entire life until someone finally loves her back. She finds true love while trying to change the world for the better. She searches and searches for love until she finds more than she knows what to do with. Then she dies.

3. Men who aren’t articulate! You don’t have to be a genius, but if you say that you “seen” something as opposed to “saw” something, you will need to leave. Immediately.

4. A perfect day for me happens sometime in July: friends, family, food, music, and dancing. A handsome man by my side would be great, too. And, perhaps, a drink or two. Or three.

5. Madonna’s “Holiday”:

Ian Harvie

Ian is a transgender comedian/activist who has performed his act all over the world and on both mainstream and queer TV. (Watch him do his thing on tour with Margaret Cho here.)

1. You can’t just give me one word! I gotta have two or three for this: “sweet, semi-complicated, passion.”

2. Love Actually. I’m a complete sap for a film with multiple “love” storylines. This film shows love from so many different angles: that of a kid’s first love, love lost, love not reciprocated, love even with a language barrier, forbidden love, awkward new love, and so much more. I like how they’re all tied together in the end. I love the ending at the airport with everyone greeting each other at the gate. I’m a huge sap!

3. Unfair fighting — and this goes for any kind of relationship in my life: lover, friend, family. We can have a beef, but you’d better come at me with some adult fightin’ tools. No serious name calling, stick to the issues, and we’d better fuck after. Well, I guess the fucking doesn’t apply to family; we should just probably hug it out after.

4. Spent with m’ady: wake up to a blow job, go for a walk/mild hike or paddle boarding (which I’ve have yet to do), get a kale salad at the Veggie Grill, meet friend(s) for coffee, cook out at home, watch Chelsea Lately, go to bed. Kind of a simpleton here.

5. The Temper Trap’s “Sweet Disposition”:

Christopher G. Ciccone

Christopher is a New York Times bestselling author, was Madonna‘s artistic director for years, and just happens to be her younger brother.

1. “Spastic.”

2. From the movie Laura: the lead, Dana Andrews, falls in love with the other lead, Gene Tierney. He falls in love with a dead woman based solely on a portrait, her affects, and the stories people tell him about her; then he discovers she is alive! It’s a trip, and it’s brilliant.

3. No sense of humor.

4. A cold, cloudy Sunday, laying around warm in bed with someone I love, ignoring The New York Times, watching old movies, eating pizza, drinking wine…

5. Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You”:

PJ DeBoy

You probably remember PJ from his role in John Cameron Mitchell’s masterpiece film Shortbus. He is also a regular on OutTV and the Here network.

1. “Volcanic.”

2. Hal Ashby’s Harold and Maude. Bud Cort and Ruth Gordon play such beautiful oddballs who find each other at a desperate point in each other’s lives. There’s this delightful, optimistic doom that draws me to them. We know it’s not going to work out, but in the meantime…

3. I don’t do deal breakers.

4. My perfect day is outside somewhere with Paul (my partner) and as many family and friends as I can gather. There should be a river involved, too. I’m very fortunate to have the people in my life that I do. You all know who you are! Thank you for all the perfect days and the not-so-great ones, too.

5. Massive Attack’s “Protection”:

Daniel Nardicio

Daniel is a New York City nightlife heavyweight, media mogul, TV talking head, and radio personality. He made Sarah Palin totally shit her pants a while back, too… which makes me smile.

1. “Spotty.”

2. They werent actually lovers, but Holly Hunter and Albert Brooks in Broadcast News were best friends with an underlying romance. I just loved their rapport and the way they could finish each others thoughts — very sweet.

3. Lack of humor. Chris and I literally laugh all day long. It gets us through the tough times, realizing the absurdity of it all. I’ve gone out with guys who weren’t funny, and it’s like the worst quality ever.

4. I like being alone. I guess the perfect day would be working doing what i love, then when I’m done achieving, Chris comes home, and we talk about the day.

5. Polyphonic Spree’s “Light and Day”:

Mario Diaz

Mario is an actor, DJ, Los Angeles party promoter, and electro producer. He is currently starring in Hollywood Sex Wars and is the man behind the music over at Dirty Sanchez.

1. I’m gonna go with “abundance.” If I look back at all the love that has been given to me, I’m a damn lucky guy.

2. I was always especially touched by King Kong (wait… that sounded weird). The deep love between Kong and Jessica Lange’s character brought me to tears. There’s something about the tragedy of an unrequited love that’s always moving. I usually play the big trouble-causing ape in my relationships.

3. I can no longer deal with guys who try and fight for power in my relationships. I don’t want to compete with my dates. If I wanted a serious relationship, I would like one where we try to empower each other, one where we would aspire to build the other up, not break them down because of insecurities. I know I’m not the easiest person to date, especially in my line of work. I’m surrounded by talent and sexiness, so it takes a strong individual to be able to handle me. The point is I can be a real pain in the ass, but I’m super lovable… what?

4. The perfect day for me would be brunch with my framily (friends/family), then we’re off to rehearse a new ridiculous show we’re doing. We would then take a thrift store shopping break, but I’d have to ditch them to make my dance class at the Sweat Spot. The day ends with a big fat bowl in bed watching bad TV. Yeah… that’s about right. Love comes in many forms, and each person can give us something different and valid. For me, my friends are more than enough. Anything more is gravy… but I do like gravy a lot.

5. Bill Withers’ “Lovely Day”:

(Originally Published on The Huffington Post on 3/21/2012)

Like many of you, I was shocked Monday night when, on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ru announced that one of the contestants, Willam Belli, had broken the rules and was being disqualified from the competition. (That’s right. I love TV. Deal with it.)

Oddly enough, I had scheduled an interview with Willam last week, before the bomb dropped, for a second installment of my HuffPost blog “Queer Celebrities Need Love, Too,” but after watching the show I decided to throw out all those questions.

My chat with Willam from yesterday (the day after all the drama) is below.

Hey, Willam. Tough night, huh? What happened, girl?

Well, I checked the Internet to find out why I was disqualified, and this is what my NancyDruPaul skills could come up with:

1. I was on heroin, and that’s how I was able to be so calm when Phi Phi yelled at me.
2. I went out drinking the night before, and that’s why I vomited onstage.
3. My favorite reason: I was on hormones to become a woman, and they found out during the lie-detector test — ’cause you can obviously see how delicate I’ve become, with all my soft features and this friggin’ man jaw.
4. I apparently slept with Pit Crew Jason, because he’s in my new “Chow Down (at Chick-fil-A)” video.
5. I enjoyed the Internet, or went shopping, or had sex with cast or crew.

The Internet thinks you’ve been really busy! Good times. You didn’t look very surprised when the announcement that you were being asked to leave the show was made. Had you been told in advance of the taping, or did you find out onstage?

Well, I was the one who admitted to the producers without prodding that I broke rules — multiple times, in fact. I wasn’t caught doing anything. One of the days just happened to be on a duet challenge, so I knew that it would be a going-down-in-a-blaze-of-glory moment should they choose to act on it (and they did). I’m glad they let me sing, though, because Latrice and I were the best, and her being partnerless in a duets challenge would’ve been weird. How about this: I’ll tell the world exactly what I did when I win the NewNowNext Award for Most Addictive Reality Star. I’ll announce it right up onstage. So go vote, or else the world may never know (cue ominous music).

Deal! Honesty is a pain in the ass sometimes. Good work, though. Better to out yourself than be outed. I do love a drag queen who can plug, as well. Speaking of drag queens, had you not been eliminated, who would your biggest competition have been for that final spot?

Jiggly Caliente.

Riiight. Well, who are you rooting for now?

Michelle Visage (#hausofvisage).

Way to plead the fifth creatively, love. How are people taking the news so far? I’m sure you’re getting blasted with questions.

The news is good! But it is nice to know my solo works got almost as much attention as my disqualification just 24 hours before. “Chow Down (at Chick-fil-A)” was posted by HuffPost and lots of other mainstream media outlets, based on the fact that it’s a current issue and it’s truly a protest song. Granted, it’s not like some “we shall overcome” shit, but it does have a message that I think is lacking in my generation of gays, about speaking up more, activism, and volunteer efforts. I do not need a 90-year-old Baptist billionaire judging who I get with when his spicy chicken sandwich gave me the bubble guts for two days.

Yeah, down with Church of Christ mall chicken! I couldn’t agree with you more about wanting our generation of queers to rise up and make the world a better place. Thank you for messaging that out! Overall, are you glad you decided to do the show?

Yes. Of Course.

That’s good to hear! I’m glad you did the show, too. We were rooting for you at my house. What are you up to now?

I’m working on a video with Chi Chi LaRue for “Trouble,” my dance single, and prepping to shoot a film all about the ’90s porn scene, Joey Stefano, and Chi Chi LaRue in Los Angeles. The writer, Chad Darnell, is in the process of securing funding now, and I’ll be playing porn legend Geoffrey Karen Dior, with Missi Pyle (recently seen in The Artist) as Sharon Kane. I’m also appearing in Neighborhood Watch this summer, opposite Ben Stiller and Billy Crudrup, July 27.

I love Chi Chi! Condragulations! Sounds busy! If you could change one thing about your time competing, what would it be?

I would have liked a stand-up comedy challenge.

Who was your favorite judge, dear?

I can’t pick one. Kelly for telling me to “fuck off” because of my body, and Pauley Perrette for co-signing the accolades. BillyB and Santino for their candor. Cassandra Peterson and Pam for even bringing their iconography into the same room as us. Ross Matthews and Loretta were everything. Loretta dished on her understudy for Dreamgirls back in the day on a break, and it’s not printable, but she’s hilarious. RuPaul is, of course, my fave if it came down to it. Michelle was a tough critic, but it always was clear it was coming from the right place. She’s the biggest supporter of all queens.

I think you are hilarious, and I wish you all the best, Willam. Anything you’d like to leave us with?

“Trouble,” my dance single, is now available on iTunes, along with “Chow Down (at Chick-fil-A)” and “The Vagina Song.” You know, it’s weird. I played hookers on television shows for all those years, and now I’m pimping myself. Lateral move, much?

Well played, queen. Well played.

Now…watch Willam’s video for “Chow Down (at Chick-fil-A)”:

Hey folks! I was the guest on Out Loud Radio this week chatting about life, love, music, activism, the church, and a whole bunch of other really gay stuff.

Have a listen HERE or download the MP3 of the show HERE.

xo
LL

(Originally Published on The Huffington Post – 1/17/2012)

In keeping with the theme of love, family, and relationship from my last post, I reached out to some famous friends to see what their thoughts were on the subject.

Singer/songwriter Matt Alber, filmmaker and photographer Bruce LaBruce, actor and musician Daniela Sea (from Showtime‘s The L Word), TV personality and activist Danny Roberts (from MTV‘s Real World: New Orleans), drag superstar and electrosleeze pioneer Jackie Beat, composer and singer Holcombe Waller, and “Charlie” Swimwear designer Matthew Zink all weighed in on the same five questions:

1. If you could sum up your concept of “relationships” in one word, what would it be?

2. What is your favorite love song of all time?

3. If you could choose any actor to play you in the movie version of your life, who would it be? What about them is you?

4. How has the relationship between your mother and father influenced your ideas about love and relationships?

5. What three qualities do you look for in a partner?

Here come their answers! (Drum roll please…)

Matt Alber

Matt is a singer/songwriter and all-around pop phenom. Dude’s cover of Madonna’s “Take a Bow” from his new record Constant Crows will make you cry. So will his “End of the World” video.

1. I guess it would be “listen.” My first answer was “summer sausage,” but then I realized that is two words.

2. Hands down, it’s gotta be “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley, 1) because we have the same birthday, and 2) because I got to sing it with a live band at the Playboy Mansion when I used to make my living as a singer in Los Angeles’ top cover band.

3. Ryan Gosling is my first choice, but mostly because of those sweet, dreamy eyes. Of course, if Jake Gyllenhaal is free, please ask his agent if he would consider the role. You can tell them that the “losing his virginity” scene will be a hell of a lot more comfortable than Brokeback.

4. My parents spent the better part of their young adult lives at war with one another. I’m very close with both of them, and they’d agree with that statement. Their relationship was founded on a lot of hope, but also on a lot of control. I think true love means you speak up lovingly when your lover crosses a personal line, and that every conversation comes back to “I want this to work” more than “I want to be right.”

5. His masculine playfulness, his handsome face I can’t stop staring at, and his chili.

Bruce LaBruce

Over the years, Bruce has been called everything from pornographer to genre genius, but one thing is undeniable: he is authentically himself, and I love that. Watch the trailer for his latest film, L.A. Zombie.

1. “Love,” “love,” and “love.”

2. “Sara Smile” by Hall & Oates.

3. Lindsay Lohan, because she’s ginger like me, a brat with criminal tendencies like me, and I think if she played it a bit more feminine than she usually does, she could nail me. Plus, she needs a good comeback role.

4. My parents will have been married 60 years in February, so I guess I’ve learned about stability and longevity from them.

5. Topness, unrehearsed masculinity, and gentleness.

Daniela Sea

Daniela is a filmmaker, musician, and actor, and is best known for her role as Moira/Max on Showtime’s The L Word.

1. Unique in each incarnation: on Valentine’s Day, “relationship with a lover” comes to mind, of course. But “relationship” is a great word for the interconnectivity of all things. My relationship to the Earth is precious to me, as well as to the animals, to my fellow humans, and to the elements that bring life to the planet. My relationship to my family and to the communities that hold me up gives me joy every day. Each spirit is unique and intertwined; being in relation to all beings in all the universes is a truth that sustains me. This is love.

2. There are some great ones, but I’ll go back to my childhood roots, my mom spinning Joni Mitchell on the record player as I swung in the living room hammock: “A Case of You.” She sings, “Part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time.” I could be much more avant-garde or punk rock, but honestly, that would most likely take the prize.

3. Would I play me? If not myself, than perhaps Agnes Varda would make the film, and play me and herself? She’s my hero.

4. I learned that love can be unconditional and everlasting, however it shifts shape.

5. For me, a good mix of curiosity about the world, kindness, wildness, and a free-spirited soul. A great mind and heart is right up there, as well.

Danny Roberts

Danny first appeared as himself on MTV’s The Real World and has been an outspoken voice from the LGBT community for over a decade.

1. “Unity.” A relationship is a mutually beneficial arrangement where two people uplift each other, encourage each other, and support each other in every way possible. There’s no one way or best way of going about this.

2. “All Is Full of Love” by Björk.

3. Jude Law: he plays an amazing brooding cynic.

4. Well, I certainly learned from them that it’s give-and-take and that it’s important to compromise and give a person room, but at some point you have to put your foot down and bring them back to center, and it’s always a two-way road. I also learned that two people can work through a tremendous amount of adversity and continue to love each other.

5. Must be down-to-Earth and centered, must love to continue to explore and learn in life and have a natural sense of curiosity, and must have a sense of humor and never take this short life too seriously.

Jackie Beat

Jackie is a star of stage, screen, and sound. Her band Dirty Sanchez might as well have owned the rights to the electroclash movement a few years ago.

1. “Friends.”

2. “How Beautiful You Are” by The Cure.

3. Miss Piggy, for all the obvious reasons.

4. Listen to the song mentioned in the second question and you tell me!

5. Kindness, a sense of humor, and a deep-seated lack of self-esteem.

Matthew Zink

Matthew makes the beautiful people more beautiful through swimwear. Check out his new collection.

1. “Partner.”

2. “I Really Got the Feeling” by Dolly Parton.

3. That is a hard question! Maybe Ryan Gosling… I am such a fan of him as an actor. He’s so talented and carries himself like a gentlemen. (Perhaps a bit too handsome to play me.)

4. My parents showed me that love is patient and you constantly have to work at it, but it’s worth all the hard work.

5. Kindness, intimacy, and passion.

Holcombe Waller

Holcombe has the voice of an angel. Watch his “Hardliners” video.

1. My definition of an amorous relationship in one word would probably be “grace,” both in terms of how it describes elegance and beauty, as well as the sense of mercy and clemency implied. All people should bring beauty and forgiveness into the world around them. In a relationship, this duty is amplified and focused between partners.

2. I have too many favorite love songs to really pick just one, but the first that came to mind is Leonard Cohen’s “Suzanne,” particularly because of the way it portrays a kind of ambivalent masculine love born in fascination with this mysterious otherly female dream character. It’s so fabulous, it’s honorifically gay.

3. Well, of course it would be Meryl Streep. I mean, what about Meryl isn’t me? That’s the question! I would only worry about what Nora Ephron once said about the travails of having been portrayed in film by Meryl Streep: she simply will play you better than you do, and this could be the cause of deep existential anguish for one’s own ego. I should be careful what I wish for.

4. Through thick and thin, my parents are deeply committed to each other till death do they part. I’ve seen them go through things that seem to push the limits of the phrase “for better or for worse,” and I think I’ve internalized that sense of commitment from them. It’s not just applied towards romantic partnership; I feel this way about my closest friends. I don’t want anything but death to get in the way.

5. Given that I’m partnered, let me share the three things I always tell my single friends that they should be looking for in their prospective dates and potential significant others. The first and most important quality in a person in a relationship is that they want to be in the relationship. This seems so basic, but I’ve had terrible problems with this in the past — being with someone (or with people, if they are poly) who profess ambivalence about whether or not they want to be in a relationship — and I’ve seen it a lot in my friends’ romantic trials. My attitude is that if someone is indicating ambivalence, end it. You can’t work through problems if there isn’t a reason to, and relationship ambivalence is a deal breaker. It’s one thing for another person not to know if they should or shouldn’t be in a relationship, but to know that you are ambivalent means the relationship is not good for now. The second quality I recommend is ease. People always say “relationships take work,” but they get confused and think that the relationship itself is the problem you have to work to surmount. What’s that about? The relationship should be the easy joyful wonderful thing that gets pummeled by the real and unavoidable troubles of being alive. Sure, these can make a relationship hard, if someone is going through a rough patch, but if a relationship is like hard sailing on a smooth and beautiful ocean, ditch it and look for a boat that’s easier to be on. Lastly, I highly recommend finding a partner you’re in love with who is also in love with you. I actually think this is more rare than people think, but steps 1 and 2 are a good start.

Portland/San Francisco-based photographer Jeffrey Horvitz has an ongoing photo series called Queer Aperture which features the diversity of the LGBTQ community in even more diverse scenarios, pairing the photos with subject interviews. I was asked to participate and ended up having a shoot with him last week. The result was a sort-of Satanic goat priest experience. It’s super creepy. ha ha ha – You can check out my favorite shot below. The people in the photo were just passing by and called themselves “God-Fearing” just before the pic was taken. It was perfection. To see the rest of the photos as they are posted, CLICK HERE. To redirect to the Queer Aperture website to see more of Jeffrey Horvitz’s work, CLICK HERE.

QUEER APERTURE FEATURES LOGAN LYNN (August 2011)

QA: What is your name?

LL: Logan Lynn

QA: How long have you lived in Portland?

LL: I originally moved here in ’96 but have had tragic attempts at other cities sprinkled throughout. I always come back. Portland is home.

QA: What is the first time you noticed that Gayness existed?

LL: I was raised in a notoriously anti-gay fundamentalist Christian cult in Nebraska so I knew about gayness very early on…mostly as a way to get sent straight to hell, though. When I was a child my dentist had a poster of Magnum P.I. hanging on the ceiling above the chair so I stared at Tom Selleck’s chest hair for an hour every 6 months while I was getting my teeth cleaned growing up. I’m pretty sure that’s what did it.

QA: What would you consider a guilty pleasure?

LL: The Real Housewives of ANYWHERE. Gimme.

QA: Your having a dinner party of 6 , whom would you invite?

LL: My boyfriend, mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law and best friend. I prefer having dinner with people who actually know me and still love me over dinners with famous strangers who don’t give a shit.

QA: What would you consider a perfect meal?

LL: Some sort of Mexican fiesta.

QA: What would be a perfect day off?

LL: Sleep in late, watch TV in bed until I get hungry, eat things, play with the dog, play with the man, watch more TV, eat more things, get back in bed, play with the man some more, go to sleep.

QA: Favorite book?

LL: “A Million Little Pieces” by James Frey.

QA: Favorite movie?

LL: “The Eyes of Tammy Faye”

QA: Favorite word?

LL: Dude

QA: Least favorite word?

LL: Church

QA: Favorite swear word?

LL: Jesus

QA: What is your profession?

LL: Pop Musician/Activist

QA: If you could with a snap of a finger what would be another profession you would like to do?

LL: If I could snap my finger and get something I would snap myself into independent wealth and never work again.

QA: Whom would you like to meet dead or alive?

LL: My grandmother. We never met. I hear she was pretty cool. She gave Jonny Cash singing and piano lessons on the piano I learned on.

I was interviewed for The Accidental Bear about music, activism and a bunch of other stuff this week. You can check it out on their site HERE (complete with photos of me and my boyfriend) or just keep reading below for the full transcript.

From The Accidental Bear: (6/2/2011)

While hiking through a creek the other day I lifted up a rock and found a gem. Ok, no that’s a story, I just really enjoy analogies. Nonetheless, the gem that was brought to my attention is singer-song-writer-ginger-beard-acitivist Logan Lynn. When I found him, it just happens, he is on a little hiatus, charging up for whatever the future holds.

LL: On Logo again here shortly. My new video is premiering sometime later this month. The rest is going to unfold however it decides to unfold. I have a day job, dog and boyfriend. Life is simple and good. I’ve gone inward for the time being.

The kids over at Portland Newsweekly Just Out ran a mini-interview with me this week about a whole mess of messy stuff and posted my new video on their site! You can check it out by clicking the current issue cover below or keep reading under that for the transcript…

From Just Out: (4/4/2011)

“Unless you’ve been living under rocks and/or endlessly napping the past few weeks, you’ve probably heard/read about Logan Lynn‘s excellent new video, the visually intriguing (stunning, even) “Quickly As We Pass.” A nostalgic blend of live action people and more two-dimensional, still cut-out counterparts (oh, how art mirrors life) make their way through cityscapes, streets, buildings, living rooms, bedrooms–and even get naked. Fitting for a song that talks about waking up “clothed in our right minds and nothing else.” As usual, Lynn takes the ordinary, the banal, mixes it all up, and turns out five minutes of salacious sensory overload. Like us, you’ll probably have to watch the video a few times before catching everything that’s happening–and even then you’ll be hard-pressed to soak up every bit, every quirk.

The video and song, both vintage Logan Lynn–you’ll recognize the first beat and lyrical declaration, “no good deed will go unpunished”–are refreshing returns to electronic-pop form and the visual stylings fans know and love. (Read: there’s no band this time around.) So, dear readers, grab your best headphones and cozy up for awhile with “Quickly As We Pass.” Pay attention to the lyrics. You’ll be surprised by how well Logan Lynn gets you. And although we’re super sad he didn’t pop out of any cakes–we’re glad he’s “back.”

-Daniel Borgen, Just Out Newsweekly

I was interviewed by Scott Wood for “The Interview Show” this week in Canada. Have a listen over at Winnie Cooper by clicking HERE.

Happy listening, folks!

xo
LL

As most of you probably already know, I spend most of my time working for LGBT rights at Portland’s Q Center. If you have ever wondered why, you can watch the video below. To get involved in Portland, CLICK HERE. For everyone else, to find the LGBT center closest to you CLICK HERE.

To watch the rest of the videos in the “We Are Q Center” web series, CLICK HERE.

You may have heard about Paul V’s “Born This Way” blog in recent days as it has been featured on TV and all over the place in the media. My short essay was one of the 1st included when the site when live a couple months ago. You can check out the post HERE. They ended up using only one of the two photos talked about in the essay so I have included the other one as the main header image of this post. Good, gay times.

Here’s hoping we can all learn to love ourselves and be kind to one another. Now…spend a few hours getting to know this fantastic blog. It’s pretty special.

Love you all,

Logan

Earlier this month Danny D. (from Portland indie supergroup The Hugs) invaded my house with bright lights and cameras to interview me for Pirate Satellite TV. You can watch the video below or by clicking HERE. It’s pretty funny.

It’s sometimes hard for me to wrap my head around all the change that 2010 brought into my life. Nothing is as it was a year ago (Thank GAWD!) Time is amazing. I feel like the last 3 years in particular have changed me at my core, molding me into who I could and should have been years before had I just been brave enough to open my eyes. Forgiveness around this previous internal blindness is part of my journey as well but that’s a whole separate issue that isn’t ready for the world to hear about just yet. Rest assured: Daddy’s workin’ on it…

In July I made the decision to take a break from touring and proceeded to blow my musical career to bits and released what will be my final word (for now) with my record “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday“. In retrospect I might have been able to handle things differently but at the time I felt like I needed to break everything in order to get away…so that’s what I did. All in all it was quite the spectacle. I have no regrets about making the decision I made but it’s funny to go back and read how upset I was at the time, knowing that less than half a year later it would all matter very little to me. The only regret I have is not taking steps to fix what was wrong sooner (which, as you can probably tell from the paragraph before this one, is a running theme these days).

When all is said and done I am thankful for this past year. In addition to the professional changes which occurred I was single and lived alone the entire year. For the 1st time since I was a 23 year old moron I took time to be by myself, with myself…to figure out what the hell I was doing and what I needed to do to get to where I ultimately want to be. I’m not sure where this next year will take me but I know it will be on my terms. I figured out what kind of people I’m looking to have in my life and what kind of people I am not. I let painful things go and I did not follow them where they went. They left and I waved at them instead. I sat still in the discomfort of change and let it take over, let it do its thing. Now on the other side I am finding new people, new experiences, new ways of looking at the world. I am closer to free than I have ever been though I am, as ever, a work in progress.

I hope you all have a happy new year! Be who you are and don’t worry about what the world thinks. The world is most likely wrong about you anyhow.

xxLL

P.S. – Speaking of progress, below is a photo of my bald ass without a hat. That’s right. I’m coming out as a 31 year old bald man. Eat it up, popworld. Also: DUH. Why else would I have been wearing a hat in every photo and video ever taken of me since 2000???!!! I’ve been wearing a hat since I was 21 and have been bald this whole fucking time. Deal with it, gays. The shit’s real.

The reaction to my new record in the press has been really great so far. Lots of love from Europe again this time around! The latest installment is an interview I did with German Queer music and politics blog CATCH FIRE! They went live with it today alongside a free MP3 download of “Smoke Rings” (song 2 on “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday“). You can read it via their site HERE or just keep reading below for the full transcript.

From CATCH FIRE: (11/2/2010)

“After going on US tour this summer, Logan Lynn, the winner of last year’s Queer Video Music Award, has announced in August that he would be taking an extended break from the music industry and leave “Beat The World Records”, a label founded and led by the Dandy Warhols. Instead he released his fourth record “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday”, the follow-up to “From Pillar To Post” independently in August, donating 100% of his profits to Portland’s Q Center where he is currently working. What led the songwriter to all these decisions and how they influenced his life he explains in an interview I did with him via email during the last two weeks. I also posted “Smoke Rings”, another track from “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday” right below this introduction – the track is the perfect background music for the following text. A second free song from the album called “Things Are Looking Up” can be found in one of October’s Music Tickers.

(DOWNLOAD “SMOKE RINGS” FREE BY CLICKING HERE!)

Catch Fire: What interests me first of all is the question if you’d consider your new album “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday” a “conceptual album”. To me especially compared to the stuff you’ve done before it seems very consistent, as if the decision to do this kind of eighties-pop-influenced dance music may have been a very concious decision.

Catch Fire: Logan Lynn’s album “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday” can be downloaded via Itunes. The physical release is slated for December 28th.”

One of my favorite records of all time was made by Belgian one-man-band Styrofoam (aka Arne Van Petegem). I won’t tell you which one (because they are all good) and you should buy them all and then find your own favorites amongst them. I love every record this guy has ever put out but one of them changed my life (that’s a little over the top, actually…but you catch my drift.)

I realize this is a little bit creepy fanboy of me (ok, fine—it’s TOTALLY creepy fanboy of me) but he gave me a shout-out in this month’s issue of Mint Male Magazine that made me smile and I feel compelled to brag about it.

You can read the full interview with Arne HERE but pay close attention to question #4.

…and I quote:

“Mint Male Magazine: What are your favorite songs you’ve remixed?

Styrofoam: There are so many it would do the others injustice to pick out just a single one. One of my favorite recent ones is the Logan Lynn remix. I’d never heard his stuff before he got in touch with me and then I went and listened to it and I was just so blown away.”

HA! Uhhh… Are. You. Kidding. Me??? This is totally fucking amazeballz.

In preparation for my big farewell show tomorrow (Friday, August 20th, 2010) at Mississippi Studios in Portland (where this whole crazy music thing began for me) Just Out Newsweekly ran a follow-up story today on their blog as part 2 to the interview they ran in this week’s paper. Check out today’s story HERE. You can also read the interview which ran in print in this past week’s paper HERE if ya wanna.

I really hope to see you at tomorrow’s show, friends! It’s going to be quite the spectacle. Tickets and info HERE. One last dance before I go…

For those of you who don’t like redirecting to other sites, you can read part 2 of my interview with Just Out below:

“In the current issue of Just Out, we sat down with Portland’s own Logan Lynn to discuss the recent announcement of his self-proclaimed “career suicide,” an indefinite hiatus from the music business. After a string of dates on the Pride circuit, tomorrow night’s show at Mississippi Studios marks the “farewell” performance for Lynn and his band, The Gentry, for the foreseeable future.

Logan Lynn and the Gentry will perform — in all likelihood sans boas or wigs — their “farewell” show on Friday night, August 20 at Mississippi Studios (3939 N. Mississippi). Show starts at 10 p.m. Matrimony and DJ Girlfriends support. Tickets are $9.50. Visit loganlynnmusic.com for more information and details on donating to Q Center in exchange for Lynn’s new, unfinished album, I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday.”

Last week I sat down with the editor of Portland Newsweekly Just Out (Amanda Schurr) to chat about my announced departure from my current life in Musicworld. A man has his reasons. If you care to know more, pick up a copy or keep reading below. To read the online version CLICK HERE or to download the PDF version of the 2 page ordeal, click the following two links: Page 34 – Page 35

I love how Just Out never twists my words or calls me fat and ugly. BEST. GAY. PAPER. EVER.

From Just Out: (8/6/2010)

“Will Work for Good : Portland pop dynamo Logan Lynn quits music, for now…

Logan Lynn and The Gentry give their “farewell” performance at 9 p.m. Friday, August 20 at Mississippi Studios (3939 N. Mississippi). Matrimony and DJ Girlfriends support. Tickets are $8. To listen to Lynn’s new, unfinished album, I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday, visit loganlynnmusic.com. Visit blogout.justout.com for the full interview with Just Out.”

Q Town Magazine interviewed me for this month’s issue (on stands now in Virginia, online HERE. Check out the full transcript below! I talk about the usual things people talk about in interviews: cocaine, butt sex, being a jerk, fucking my life up, Jesus, etc.

From Q TOWN Magazine (August 2010 Issue):

It’s been quite a trip for Portland electronica artist Logan Lynn. From his first studio album, This Is Folk Techno in 1998 to his latest From Pillar To Post, Lynn transports us away to his buzzing trance-like world. Famous for edgy lyrics and playful beats, Lynn creates excitement on MTV, Logo, VH1, Spike and in the pulsating indie music scene.

Q town recently caught up with Logan to chat about hooking up with The Dandy Warhols, his connection to his fans, and how queer culture influences the mainstream.

QT: Your style has been called electro-house mixed with folk, which is a really interesting combination. How did these two come together for you?

LL: I was always really interested in both genres separately growing up and coming into my own musically as a songwriter. At some point in the late 90′s I started blending the two together. Back then nobody really understood what I was doing. I would have shows and people would just stand there and scratch their heads. I could tell they were like “What the hell is this guy doing?”, but that was mostly because they just had no reference point. That was WAY before The Postal Service or some of those groups that came along in the mid 2000′s. Once that all started getting big is when people really started to gravitate to my music. I repackaged and re-released the same record in 2005 that I had released in 2000 and the reaction was amazing so I immediately recorded all the songs I had been writing during that 5 year hiatus from making records and got the ball rolling for my self-titled record in 2006. I’m glad people get it now.

QT: How did you hook up with the indie-rock band The Dandy Warhols and what has that experience been like for you?

LL: I was working on an ad campaign for a company in Los Angeles in 2005 & we hired a photographer from Portland named Ray Gordon who I ended up partying with for days in LA. He fell in love with some of the new material I played him and just happened to be really good friends with Courtney Taylor-Taylor (the Dandys’ frontman). He knew they were starting a label, Courtney and I met, he got really into my record, they signed me in 2007 and released my last record “From Pillar To Post” on their Beat The World label in 2009. It has been really great to have access to their studio and to be able to learn from them. It has been quite the journey from there to here.

QT: Can you tell us the inspiration to the lyrics behind your sharply-titled single, “Bottom your way to the top”?

LL: Well, I was in a very long-term relationship that started ending in 2007, but eluded finality until a little over a year ago. At one point, as our 6 years together were dissolving, the words “Just go and bottom your way to the top, then” was yelled my way….so I wrote a song about it. That whole record (“From Pillar To Post”) is about that time in my life. I was immersed in cocaine partyworld and was losing my love. I didn’t react very well to the breakup initially. I acted out in ways that were, well…song-worthy.

QT: We really love the video for “Bottom your way to the top”. In addition to being a musician you’re also a visual artist. Did you help contribute to the concept behind the video?

LL: Nice one! Thanks. I am always involved in some aspect of everything, but I think much of my success has been found in letting the people I work with do their jobs (be it on songs or videos). I have yet to drink my own Kool-Aid to the point where I think I know how to do everything better than everyone else. That’s bullshit. Anyway, the director Jeffrey McHale (from Chicago) had a very clear vision. I came to him because I felt like he and I had a similar point of view. It turned out that we did. He introduced me to an illustrator named John Parot who came on board to illustrate the video which Jeff then animated. Interestingly enough, John Parot is a contestant on Bravo’s “Work Of Art: The Search For The Next Great Artist” this season. He does amazing work. I love that we got him on that video. His drawings are really what next-leveled that one.

QT: What would you say is the best part of being a performer?

LL: I love the connections I make with people. I think because my songs are so personal they tend to find people that are similar to me. That’s been the case thusfar at least. That connection, that shrinking of the world to a size I can deal with, has been the best part of all of this so far. I like feeling like my crazy is understandable my hundreds of thousands of people. Like…other people aren’t running away from my ugly parts on display so maybe I’m not such a fucking psycho after all?

QT: You’ve been a fixture on MTV, VH1, Spike TV and Logo Online and you’ve got a huge following. How did it feel to break into the biz?

LL: It felt different than I thought it was going to. It is amazing that I get to live out my lifelong dreams and have been able to get to the point I’m at currently with this whole thing…but I’ll be honest and say that I always had it in my mind that I would get here and suddenly be happy, suddenly feel like I belong. Unfortunately, that is not the case so I’ve had to mourn the loss of that delusional notion as it has become clear that there just simply is no golden ticket. I love singing, I love writing, I love that there are so many people who feel a connection with me and my songs…but it’s isolating, too. That’s sort-of the nature of the beast I guess…but I wasn’t prepared for that part. It gets lonely on the island, ya know?

QT: Do you think the queer community has more of a cutting-edge taste in music?

LL: I think it’s possible, but I tend to think of the queer community as equally diverse as the rest of the world which means that statement only applies to SOME queers. There has always been a queer underground that has influenced the mainstream, though. That part is safe to say with total assurance. I’m hesitant to say that we are more cutting-edge as a community after playing all these gay pride shows this Summer though. There are just as many lame fags with bad taste as there are lame straight people with bad taste. Being stupid is universal.

QT: Growing up in the Midwest, you were really influenced by the rave scene – where did the folk influence come from?

LL: I blame The Innocence Mission, The Sundays, Joni Mitchell, Tori Amos, Liz Phair and all the other folky singer-songwriter-y alterna-ladies I grew up listening to. Emotional songs have always been a part of my life. I listen to the same shit now that I listened to 20 years ago. I am just as inspired by The Innocence Mission’s music today as I have ever been. There is much of me that doesn’t change as time goes by. I listen to new stuff as well, but I have my roots planted firmly in old Sundays and Innocence Mission records from the 90′s. It’s real.

QT: Not many people have performed in front of a crowd of 400,000, let alone for their first time performing live. Did that totally freak you out or did it just come naturally?

LL: It totally freaked me out, as has every performance since. (Laughs) It’s gotten a lot better in recent years but I have had to deal with working through some pretty crippling stage fright. It’s still with me, but I am so many years in at this point that the fear has left except for a split second before I go on stage. Once I’m out there I am good to go…it’s the getting me on stage that’s the hard part. I had to kinda relearn how to be vulnerable in front of a crowd when I got clean in 2007. It was suddenly scary again…but having done this sober for so long now I honestly can’t imagine trying to do it wasted. Progress…

QT: Do you find it easier to write music and lyrics now after getting clean?

LL: It’s definitely easier to feel things now, so yeah. I think so. It’s different for sure. I think this new record I just finished recording sounds smarter…like I have my words back or something. When I listen to these new songs I hear someone who is much more sure of himself than on records past. I’m not so lost, the lyrics aren’t hopeless anymore. It’s more confused now than hopeless which seems like a step in the right direction…for my mind, at least. I was worried about cleaning up, like that I would lose my outlook, or like that maybe the drugs were my link to the creative world but that all turned out to be junkie bullshit I was feeding myself to authorize otherwise completely unacceptable behavior. If anything my career took off and my writing got better when I quit killing myself. Go figure.

QT: Are you seeing anyone special right now?

LL: No. I’m finally at a place where I would be open to someone’s specialness, though. Bring it on, universe!

QT: What kind of guys are you into?

LL: I like nice guys who tell the truth and don’t give a shit about being famous.

QT: What was it like coming out to your fundamentalist Christian family?

LL: It was hard back then, but I was like 14 years old and it was before “Will and Grace” had won over the hearts of middle America so…it would have been hard no matter who I was telling. In the end, we have all grown together as a family and I’m glad that things went down the way they did. I am very close to my parents now. None of us are who we used to be. It’s great.

QT: From your experience, what’s your advice to someone who wants to come out to a religious

LL: Don’t listen to them. They are ALL wrong about you and they are ALL wrong about the world.

QT: Where can people find your music?

LL: It’s pretty much everywhere these days. I always tell people that if they buy stuff directly from the store on my site the chances that I will see some of the money go up and the evil middlemen stand to make less…but my music is available on iTunes, Amazon, CD Baby, Target.com, Barnes & Noble, Tower Records, etc. if you prefer to give the evil middlemen a cut. I’m also on Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, DList, Last.Fm, iLike, and a bunch of other sites online where you can stream my tunes.