That’s a wrap, Idaho!

Hey friends! Wanted to share the news that Casey and I are going to be moving to Portland together in September.

I came to Idaho for love, stuck around to make a record and a film, and am leaving after two years because, try as I might, this is just not my home. Oregon is. And Casey is. So here we go.

Thank you to everyone in Boise who has shown me kindness, welcomed me into your homes and scenes, collaborated on music, or made me feel like I belonged in some other way while I have lived here by making space for me in your lives.

My Idaho experience has been really mixed. Pretty lonely, actually. I miss my family. I miss my friends. My studio is in Portland. My record label is there. Most of the other bands I work with are PDX-based. And I absolutely hate feeling like I am in danger just being alive as a gay man in a deeply red state. But those of you who have made me feel safe and let me sit at your table here in Idaho will always hold a special place in my heart and history. Thank you.

And to our PDX community: We’ll see you this fall!

16 years…

On this day in 2008 I was really struggling, still awake at the tail end of what would ultimately turn out to be my final bender, making another list of whether I should stick around or go.

I did that a lot back then, and the list for going was always so much longer than the list for staying — but that pesky small list had such important things on it. My brother. My mom. My dad. Our family. My songs. Some man who might love me someday. And perhaps most importantly at times, a sweet dog who just won’t understand where I’ve gone.

The months before that final list had been designed that way — as my last hoorah — because I had decided to go. But it was taking forever, as any of you who were around back then will remember. I had existed with cocaine and alcohol as my life’s centerpiece for 16 years by that point, and all hope had been lost a long time before that…but I was scared. And I wanted to live. But I was done with hurting.

For whatever reason, I survived the experiences that followed. I ultimately landed in the right hospital with the right team of doctors at the exact right time and, well, long story long, here I still am.

I was wasted and suffering for 16 years before that. SIXTEEN YEARS!!! Next month it will have been 16 years since I quit cocaine and alcohol all together and got my life back. Feels really special to have now been on the earth as myself for longer than I wasn’t.

I still make the list of whether to stay or go once a year around this time. It took a decade to even out and it stayed pretty even for years, but now it’s completely lopsided, and has been for some time. There are no more reasons to go and, when I look back, there never were. I am surrounded by endless reasons to stay and stay and stay and I always was.

So are you.

Stick around for incoming joy, bbs. Stick around for someday love. Stick around for doggos and TV shows you’ll miss the ending of. ❤️





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