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It’s Mental Health Awareness Month and I am spending my vacation in the studio because making songs has always been the thing that keeps me well.

This process is much less tortured these days than it used to be. Feels super happy in here.

This Mental Health Awareness Month, I am feeling really grateful to be here — and not just to be here, but to be happy and healthy and here.

We’re in here working on a new record and you can actually hear this peace I’ve found in my vocal takes. Longterm recovery is a trip. 🖤

I know many of you are struggling right now. Navigating addiction and persistent mental health conditions can be so brutal.

Please know that I am rooting for you. I want us all to win. And I believe some sort of extraordinary peace is out here waiting for each of you, too.

Got booster #2 today and so far I am still dumb and gay.

Vaccines are fun and safe and boosters make you pretty and popular.

It’s science!

For everyone who keeps asking me when we are going to reschedule album release shows and announce tour dates in support of my new record for Kill Rock Stars, this is where we are headed:

The reality is, for many disabled artists and bands with people who have pre-existing conditions or compromised immune systems, playing shows without pretty extreme Covid safety precautions is not on the table right now.

THE PANDEMIC IS NOT OVER.

I can’t stress enough how thankful I am to be signed to a label that supports its artists and prioritizes our wellness and safety.

Label and labelmate support aside, you would not believe how much grief I’ve gotten from all kinds of people for pulling out of our tour and SXSW.

I wouldn’t normally spend an entire week retweeting the posts of friends, artists, and colleagues who caught Covid at a festival, but SXSW balked at all of our attempts to create (and pay for out of pocket) an actually safe environment for my showcase to still happen this year. They said no to keeping me safe, and we told them to go screw.

LOL ABLEISM.

Anyway, I stand by everything I wrote HERE when we pulled out of the festival and I am so fucking glad we didn’t go.

And please, for the love of music, wear your masks when you go to a show. It’s not that fucking hard and you are literally going to kill folks like me if you don’t.

I can’t make you all care about other people — but I wish you would. Live music should be accessible. Full stop.

14 years.

This month I am celebrating 14 years in longterm recovery from a 16 year addiction to cocaine and alcohol that nearly took my life many times.

I am really happy to be here. 🖤

For the first decade after I stopped trying to hurt myself, I had these incredible moments of shame and guilt and weird panic take me over constantly, just about having been this person for so long — and I still sometimes do.

Like…how did I ever think anything I did, wrote, sang, or said in the 90s and early 00s was ok? How could I have hurt myself so much and cared so little for other people?

I do my best to stay compassionate with myself, and so many of you have shown me the same over the years.

If you are someone I hurt, humiliated, or discarded somewhere along the way, I’m truly sorry. All I can really say is that hurting people hurt people, and I was hurting for many years.

Every single change I’ve made in my life has been made in the direction of my knowing I needed to do better, be better, and ultimately take responsibility for the entire experience of having been me this whole time — both as a very sick person, and now having been a very well person for many years.

I was talking to John from Portugal. The Man a few months ago about how so many things would never have happened if I had been successful in killing myself. One of the things I listed was that we would never have met. He very kindly let me know that we had met before I was well and that he just had never brought the experience up because clearly I did not remember and he knew I had been through a lot.

I have no recollection of this, and so many other experiences from that time; But I know that many of you retain these memories of me from before, and I am so grateful to John and every single one of you who have been willing to meet me again over the years, and have made space for me in your lives since.

Thank you to everyone who tried to keep me safe or showed me love during those early years — and thank you all for giving me the chance to be who I am now. It is your kindness that has carried me through.

RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE.

No SXSW for me this year.

No SXSW for me this year. I just officially pulled out of the festival.

Human rights violations on the state level aside, I am very committed to being part of a music industry that actually cares about people who are at heightened risk for complications from Covid-19 and makes space for people with disabilities and pre-existing conditions to still do what they love safely. That’s not the current trend and it’s really fucking gross.

I’m lucky to be on a label that supports me here. I know that’s not the case for everyone right now.

We’ll party soon — just not in Texas.

Love you all. 💋

Trying to build a live show and plan for the future during this time in the world is hilarious.

I’ve been signing checks like LOL THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

I love you all! Be safe out there. 🖤

I joined Noise for Now’s OUR BODIES DESERVE RESPECT campaign

Proud to be partnering with NOISE FOR NOW on the OUR BODIES DESERVE RESPECT campaign for trans awareness.

2021 has seen a record-breaking number of anti-trans bills introduced in states across the US, making it the worst year on record for anti-trans legislation. It’s no coincidence that the same is true for anti-abortion legislation. This wave of oppressive bills seek to control people’s bodies.

The proceeds from the sales of this t-shirt I’m wearing by Xavier Schipani will support Texas Health Action’s Kind Clinic, which serves LGBTQ+ communities with locations across Texas at no-cost for all services, and will also support Independent Abortion Clinics with trans-centered programs throughout the US via Abortion Care Network’s Keep Our Clinics.

Purchase a tee at www.noisefornow.org/shop

Every time I have tried to write a memoir I always get to a point where I scream “eww!” and quit. People are weirdos and I’m one of them. There’s your book. 🖤

As Mental Health Awareness Month draws to a close and Pride Month begins, I sat down with Sheila Hamilton for a 2 part episode of the Beyond Well Podcast to chat about gay stuff, recovery, music, advocacy work, and Gucci.

📸 Polaroid i-Type Film, 2021 // #GucciEpilogue

I did a thing with MTV, TikTok and Sheila Hamilton for Mental Health Action Day. 💋

Watch on IGTV HERE:

Watch on YouTube HERE:

I hear a lot about downtown Portland being gone forever and have seen tons of stories about how the soul of the city is lost on the news — but I spent yesterday downtown and had the best time. It didn’t feel like PDX is gone at all. If anything, it felt like Old Portland is starting to make its return, but has a Gucci store now. It’s great.

In other news, I was gonna start juicing on illegal steroids but read that you still have to exercise for them to be effective, so what’s the point?

#GucciEpilogue // 📸 Polaroid i-Type Film, 2020


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