This time of year always makes me think of Malibu Beach and whenever I see these photos from the years I spent in and out of Hollywood, it’s tempting to believe them — but the reality is, those were some of the saddest, loneliest times of my entire life. I look at these beautiful pictures of me now and cringe.

Beachfront mansions and fancy clothes mean nothing without kindness around — and money and fame are useless without love.

The end.

Well, that was fun.

Thank you to the Recording Academy for an amazing week at the Grammys, to my friend Ruth for being my co-pilot the entire time, to Questlove, Dave Chappelle, Ty Dolla $ign, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Black Thought for inviting us to party the night before the big show, to Alessandro Michele and Gucci for dressing me while I was in LA, and to Hollywood for delivering adventure at every turn.

Also: Baby’s first best dressed list!!!

Here are a shit ton of photos: