October 11th is National Coming Out Day and today I’m celebrating 30 years of being openly queer. It was really unsafe when I was outed as a teenager in the early ‘90s in the Midwest and I’ve been in a process of reclaiming that experience and rescripting that narrative ever since.

Looking at photos of me from that time, it’s hard to imagine anyone hating or wanting to hurt this kid — but it was a different time in the world. I don’t see a 14 year old who has demons in him when I look at this picture. I see a sweet gay kid with big dreams, who deserved better than the hateful, anti-gay church he was born into.

For me, coming out is an ongoing process. I feel like I come out every day, in every room I enter. The term ‘coming out’ means different things to different people, and it’s informed by our individual experiences in the world. You’re still queer before you’re out. Out is a state of mind as much as it is a political act.

Are you able to be your whole self in every room you enter? If so, great. But that’s not always safe. I think people should come out when it works for them and when they are going to be safe in that process. This looks different for everybody.

It’s hard to be afraid of people when you know them to be good, and it’s even harder to hate someone you already love. Whether we are talking about our families, communities, or Hollywood, LGBTQ+ people demanding to be seen and celebrated while showing people who we really are, helps facilitate that.

Be you, baby. Fuck the haters.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎

#NCOD

We are wrapping up the past 6 months of songwriting for this new record and I listened through all of the demos last night for the first time.

I think the absolute madness of this era has reached me in ways that it just hadn’t been able to previously. I am dazzlingly happy and hopeful about some things, but deeply sad and confused about others. These new songs seem to reflect that. I feel changed by it all.

And yeah ok I guess hold me or whatever.

#KillRockStars

In a very FUCK YOU place right now but I still have a new EP coming out tomorrow night at midnight, followed by my album release show to close out Pride Month the following day.

If you’re pissed and hurt and wondering what the actual fuck, I hope you’ll tune in. Download the EP. Dance and cry and scream into your favorite pillow.

My heartbreak is your heartbreak is our heartbreak again. ❤️‍🩹