October 11th is National Coming Out Day and today I’m celebrating 30 years of being openly queer. It was really unsafe when I was outed as a teenager in the early ‘90s in the Midwest and I’ve been in a process of reclaiming that experience and rescripting that narrative ever since.

Looking at photos of me from that time, it’s hard to imagine anyone hating or wanting to hurt this kid — but it was a different time in the world. I don’t see a 14 year old who has demons in him when I look at this picture. I see a sweet gay kid with big dreams, who deserved better than the hateful, anti-gay church he was born into.

For me, coming out is an ongoing process. I feel like I come out every day, in every room I enter. The term ‘coming out’ means different things to different people, and it’s informed by our individual experiences in the world. You’re still queer before you’re out. Out is a state of mind as much as it is a political act.

Are you able to be your whole self in every room you enter? If so, great. But that’s not always safe. I think people should come out when it works for them and when they are going to be safe in that process. This looks different for everybody.

It’s hard to be afraid of people when you know them to be good, and it’s even harder to hate someone you already love. Whether we are talking about our families, communities, or Hollywood, LGBTQ+ people demanding to be seen and celebrated while showing people who we really are, helps facilitate that.

Be you, baby. Fuck the haters.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎

#NCOD

ACTUAL FUCKING NAZIS HAVE INVADED PORTLAND.

As you watch, participate, or cover today’s protests, it’s important to remember that ANTIFA is not an organization, it’s an idea.

It literally just means ANTI-FASCISM.

So, like, within anti-fascism there are a million different tactics folks can (and should) be taking — but we should absolutely ALL be ANTI-FASCIST.

If we aren’t ANTIFA, we are, by definition, PRO-FASCISM.

There’s no middle ground here.

Specific tactics aside, at this point, you’re either with the Nazis or you are against them.

It’s 2019.

DECIDE.

This quote in People Magazine is the best thing I have ever said. 🌈💀

“It’s been my experience that nothing triggers this type of toxic masculinity culture more than a gay man who isn’t afraid, and I can’t think of anything I am less afraid of than a bunch of fragile dudes who can’t deal with my existence.”