My hot take is that pop culture and art and music and fashion and snacks and puppies and drag queens and texting and stupid movies and memes and holding hands and dancing and expensive perfume and very high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and fancy bath towels and shiny pretty things and tall boy bathtubs are all actually really important.

The pandemic is hard and endless and there’s no extra credit for suffering. It’s not shallow to want to surround yourself with life and beauty when there is death and sadness all around.

Say yes to all bread.
Chase kindness.
Buy whatever.
Laugh about it.
Cry about it.
You’re doing great.

❤️

March is always a weird time of year for me. It’s the anniversary of the last time I tried to take my own life — and nearly succeeded. It’s also the anniversary of my being hospitalized for said suicide attempt, which was ultimately the catalyst for my getting off drugs and alcohol once and for all, after 16 years of being stuck in a crack-fueled trauma cycle I just could not break out of by myself.

That was 12 years ago this month, and in the 4,380 days since, I have found a way to center my entire life around love, healing, and forgiveness. I’ve fought for myself and built a career that I am super grateful for and proud of. I have food in my fridge and a beautiful roof over my head that I never take for granted for even one moment, after struggling with housing and basic safety for most of my teens and 20s. And I have found ways of belonging in the world alongside the friends and family who made space for me to become this person all those years ago.

Thank you for believing I could and for holding me close. I realize it’s hard for some people to picture me this way. I am unrecognizably well, and you really just had to be there…but if you weren’t, I’m glad.

And if you are struggling right now, please know you can always reach out. Life will change if you stick around. I promise. It’s what life does. You should be here for it. 🖤

One year ago tonight I decided I was going to pivot professionally, put my belongings in storage, ditch my house, break up, buy a $100,000.00 RV, and move to the ocean with only the dog and a mess of Gucci ready-to-wear. I had no real plan, but knew it was time to quiet things all the way down for a minute.

That minute turned to 8 weird months on the beach, and the path from there to here has been nothing short of strange and beautiful — but my plan did work. 12 months later I’m happy, relaxed, inspired, surrounded by kindness, and regret nothing.

Hate your life? Blow that shit up. ✊