For the dreams come true category: After my GRAMMYs looks made their way onto a couple of best dressed lists, I booked a Gucci editorial spread for a magazine that I can’t talk about yet, but the shoot is in 3 weeks and they sent me a TON of stuff today!

I’m so excited I am literally screaming in the living room as I open each box. Thank you for your vision, Alessandro Michele! This is wild. 😍

As I approach the 12th anniversary of my being in recovery from cocaine and alcohol, I am genuinely feeling really happy to be here, and so excited about life.

This hasn’t always been the case, as anyone who has followed me for any length of time will already know. I was using drugs back then for a reason — many reasons, actually — and those reasons didn’t magically disappear just because I quit smoking crack and killing my body slowly with vodka. If anything, those reasons became clearer and felt worse as I was getting well.

I am forever thankful for my doctors, who allowed me to go on a journey of harm reduction instead of total abstinence at first. The reality is, this recovery would never have worked if I hadn’t been put on Naltrexone for cravings, or if I hadn’t been able to use medical marijuana during my transition from suicidal junkie to regular human person. Pot saved me for many years, and gave me the space and time I needed to become myself again after nearly two decades of orbiting the atmosphere alone.

A few months ago, the weed stopped helping like it once had, and I went back to the same team of docs who had saved me, to see what was up. I made the transition from medical marijuana to BusPar around that time and almost immediately felt that impending sense of doom I’ve had strapped to my back since childhood disappear completely.

This is all just to say, recovery looks different for everyone, and it changes over time. If medication assistance helps you, take the medicine. I certainly have, and I’m zero percent ashamed about it. If you are experiencing addiction but aren’t ready to go totally sober right at first, then just find ways of hurting yourself less. That all counts as recovery, too — and fuck anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.

If you had told me 12 years ago that this life I’ve been living would someday be mine to live, I would never have believed you…but here we are. Healthy, happy and loved. 100% sober. Alive, inspired, and grateful. This shit is a goddamn miracle. 🤘💛

Well, that was fun.

Thank you to the Recording Academy for an amazing week at the Grammys, to my friend Ruth for being my co-pilot the entire time, to Questlove, Dave Chappelle, Ty Dolla $ign, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Black Thought for inviting us to party the night before the big show, to Alessandro Michele and Gucci for dressing me while I was in LA, and to Hollywood for delivering adventure at every turn.

Also: Baby’s first best dressed list!!!

Here are a shit ton of photos: