Lots of TV talking heads screaming about how shocked they are that the adults in HBO’s “Leaving Neverland” documentary all seem to have just gone along with Michael Jackson’s predation; but sexual predators are experts at grooming entire families, and it happens slowly, over time.

This was certainly the case with what happened during my own youth. These people can sense when space exists between a child and their parents, perhaps created from previous abuse, neglect, some other type of trauma, or a need that isn’t being met at home, and they shapeshift to fill that empty space, meeting the need — not just for the victim in their sights, but for all of the grown-ups around that child. It’s easy to judge looking in from the outside, but make no mistake: These parents and families are victims of the monster, too.

When I was 16 I had a much older teacher start showing me special attention and eventually openly seduce me during a summer art program for teens that I was attending at the Pacific Northwest College of Art, and literally nobody gave a shit. Grown-ups offered me rides to and from this man’s house, where he regularly fed me and my underage friends drugs and alcohol, and had sex with me. None of this happened in the shadows. I was openly sleeping over at this teacher’s house, in his bed, showering in his master bathroom. Nothing was a secret; not to his friends, roommates, family, and coworkers — and not to mine. Read the rest of this entry »

I can’t believe it’s been 11 years since this single premiered on MTV, Logo, VH1 and a bunch of other channels, radio stations, and like…MySpace, I guess?

It was the first time I had ever been on network TV or signed to a major label, and so many people were projecting things onto me at the time, working to mold me, and trying to help fit me into the big game somewhere. Anyone who was tuned in to my nonsense back then will recall, I did not respond well.

“Feed Me To The Wolves” was my first big break, but at its core it’s a song about me trying to survive cocaine addiction, and this video is the last time I would ever be filmed coked out of my mind or drunk. The fact that it was so celebrated at the time — that I was so celebrated in that state of actively, messily, visibly spiraling towards imminent death — seems so curious to me now, over a decade into my recovery.