The music video that got me signed to a major label was released 19 years ago today (in 2006!)

I have no idea why this worked at the time, but it did. You probably had to be there to understand except I was there and I still don’t.

TO BE CRINGE IS TO BE FREE.

It should be said that I was still on very bad drugs in 2006. My songs were weird and dark and I had all kinds of ideas that seem super edgelord to me when I watch now. I really was trying to say something at the time and I guess I said it? But LOL cocaine makes people stupid and bad. I’m 18 years in recovery from this exact time.

Some pretty OK songs from that time though and I do forgive myself for being such a mess back then because like what else am I gonna do? Stay mad at a 25 year old raver forever?! Can’t be me.

Def one of my favorite babies, and represented me taking back my career and life from the major label deal that was ruining both at the time. Always grateful for where this one took me.

I was still on cable TV every week when that record came out and I had been for over half a decade at that point. It was super weird because I had all of these huge opportunities but was struggling just to live each day and also survive the insanely unpleasant experience of having no privacy in early addiction recovery. It sucked. And that ultimately had a lot to do with me blowing the thing up. It was not my most graceful moment, but I would save myself again a thousand times over.

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