Lots of TV talking heads screaming about how shocked they are that the adults in HBO’s “Leaving Neverland” documentary all seem to have just gone along with Michael Jackson’s predation; but sexual predators are experts at grooming entire families, and it happens slowly, over time.
This was certainly the case with what happened during my own youth. These people can sense when space exists between a child and their parents, perhaps created from previous abuse, neglect, some other type of trauma, or a need that isn’t being met at home, and they shapeshift to fill that empty space, meeting the need — not just for the victim in their sights, but for all of the grown-ups around that child. It’s easy to judge looking in from the outside, but make no mistake: These parents and families are victims of the monster, too.
When I was 16 I had a much older teacher start showing me special attention and eventually openly seduce me during a summer art program for teens that I was attending at the Pacific Northwest College of Art, and literally nobody gave a shit. Grown-ups offered me rides to and from this man’s house, where he regularly fed me and my underage friends drugs and alcohol, and had sex with me. None of this happened in the shadows. I was openly sleeping over at this teacher’s house, in his bed, showering in his master bathroom. Nothing was a secret; not to his friends, roommates, family, and coworkers — and not to mine. Read the rest of this entry »
Those of you who have been following my #VanLife adventure since my professional pivot into the wild last year may have been scratching your head about why I seem to have not really gone on any sort of adventure at all.
Some of you have reached out to see what happened to our fall tour plans, or why I haven’t come to visit, even recreationally. Some of you just think I’m being a lazy rich kid who can’t be bothered (and have told me so). But those of you who know me in real life have picked up on the fact that not everything has gone as planned out here, expressing concern that I seem to be parked and isolating in remote corners of the Pacific NW.
The reality is, #VanLife is fucked.
This narrative doesn’t match a lot of my photo shoots and public posts because I’ve remained committed to finding beauty in nature and making the best of it, while holding onto the dream I first set out to realize and working to see it all through. It’s not miserable because I have somehow changed my mind about wanting to tour. I haven’t. I very much still want to promote this record and sing these special songs for (and with) all of you. And it’s not because I don’t like the small space or the sometimes-rugged complications of full-timing in an RV. I’m game for all of that anticipated (and un-anticipated) adventure stuff. That is not what’s happening here, either. And oh my god it’s not because I’m lazy or rich. Ugh. I wish! Unfortunately, neither of those things are true anymore (though they definitely have been before, so I get the perception). And it’s not even that I’m depressed or sketched out about the constant online bullying and death threats, which would normally be a major contender after so much time out here alone and so many thousands of homophobic trolls piling on with the release of this new record.
Sadly, what’s actually happening is much more heartbreaking (and potentially sinister).
I will start by officially announcing that we have to cancel our 2019 tour plans that were included in all of the “My Movie Star” album press over the past year. We were supposed to announce the bands and cities March 1st for shows beginning in spring, but instead, it’s canceled. All of it. I’ve been dodging questions and playing along, but no more. Read the rest of this entry »
