LOGAN LYNN // NEW MONEY \\ OUT NOW!

  

The last time I got wasted was 14 years ago tonight.

Everyone who knew me back then thought I was a goner — but here I am, a very much not-goner.

Appreciate the opportunity to still be gay and stupid after all these years.

🖤

#RecoveryIsPossible

14 years.

This month I am celebrating 14 years in longterm recovery from a 16 year addiction to cocaine and alcohol that nearly took my life many times.

I am really happy to be here. 🖤

For the first decade after I stopped trying to hurt myself, I had these incredible moments of shame and guilt and weird panic take me over constantly, just about having been this person for so long — and I still sometimes do.

Like…how did I ever think anything I did, wrote, sang, or said in the 90s and early 00s was ok? How could I have hurt myself so much and cared so little for other people?

I do my best to stay compassionate with myself, and so many of you have shown me the same over the years.

If you are someone I hurt, humiliated, or discarded somewhere along the way, I’m truly sorry. All I can really say is that hurting people hurt people, and I was hurting for many years.

Every single change I’ve made in my life has been made in the direction of my knowing I needed to do better, be better, and ultimately take responsibility for the entire experience of having been me this whole time — both as a very sick person, and now having been a very well person for many years.

I was talking to John from Portugal. The Man a few months ago about how so many things would never have happened if I had been successful in killing myself. One of the things I listed was that we would never have met. He very kindly let me know that we had met before I was well and that he just had never brought the experience up because clearly I did not remember and he knew I had been through a lot.

I have no recollection of this, and so many other experiences from that time; But I know that many of you retain these memories of me from before, and I am so grateful to John and every single one of you who have been willing to meet me again over the years, and have made space for me in your lives since.

Thank you to everyone who tried to keep me safe or showed me love during those early years — and thank you all for giving me the chance to be who I am now. It is your kindness that has carried me through.

RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE.

Recovery is Possible.

Longterm addiction recovery is wild cuz every now and then I’ll run into someone from the before world and it’s always like “Oh shit, last time we saw each other you were doing coke off of my friend’s dick while I smoked crack in the single occupancy bathroom at The Tube while like 20 people were knocking on the door after a 4 day bender at my house where we ended up burning all my furniture to keep warm and now I’m just trying to pay for my veggie sandwich but here you are, 15 years later, at the veggie sandwich shop. How have you been?”

Long story short, this is why I never take my sunglasses off.

(P.S. this is advocacy)

10 albums in.

I released my 10th album this week and next year will be celebrating the 25th anniversary of the 1st one. Wild stuff.

I can’t ever tell if I am the hero or the villain of this story, so I usually land on: I am both. People are assholes and I’m one of them. Unlike most of you though, my entire humiliating human journey is on record. Every dark thought I had as a teenager is literally downloadable on iTunes, a quarter of a century later. It’s horrifying and liberating all at once, and has always felt this way to me. I made bedfellows with overexposure early on in my career because I had to as a result of my writing, not because I understood what that would actually mean 25 years down the road.

I’ve been writing songs about what’s happening in my life at any given time since I was a child, and began recording and releasing those songs professionally when I was 17 — still very much a child. Life was all the way off the rails for me back then, and so is everything I did and wrote during that time.

My discography exists in two parts: 1998-2008 sounds like drugs and violence because everything around me was drugs and violence. 2009-now sounds like a person putting things back together after all the drugs and violence. I do my best to stay compassionate with myself about the lot of it, and I am ultimately glad it all exists — but it’s so incredibly hard to look at, in parts. I was a very sad, unwell person for many years, and that comes through loud and clear in all of those tracks from before.

My songs have never been about answers, and they still aren’t. Even now, as a happy, well person, I am all questions and nothing else. It has been this way for as long as I can remember. These albums are just a reflecting pool; kinda hard to make out, quite like the years.

Some of you have been with me this whole time, others have joined at points along the way, and many of you are just getting here now. However you found me and my songs, and however long you have been around, I hope you all know how much it means to me that you are here.

And for anyone about to dig into my back catalog: Apologies in advance. It was the 90s and I was freebasing cocaine.

XO
Logan

I’m on the Mentally Together Podcast this week! Listen here.

I was the guest on this week’s episode of the Mentally Together Podcast with Cassidy Quinn, chatting about recovery and wellness and music and things.

Listen here if ya wanna. 💙

Recovery is possible.

As Recovery Month comes to a close, I just wanted to give a quick shout-out to everyone who believed that my life had worth back when I did not.

It’s been nearly 14 years since the last time I smoked crack, had a needle in my arm, took a drink, was homeless, or tried to hurt myself in some other creative way — and life is good now.

You were right. Thank you. 🖤


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