Frozen survivor of the cruelest fame, I called your name like a sinner.

LISTEN/BUY:

Oops, I’m back in the studio, but this time with Belgian electronic pop producer Styrofoam, who I grew up listening to (and worshiping).

Don’t let that piano fool you. 💋

I was in the studio recording this (now out of print) album with PFog 20 years ago this weekend. It’s a mess, as were the mixtapes that had led to it, the record that came just after it, and the 2 EPs that followed…but, whatever. It was the 90s, I was a maladjusted teenager, and it was before easy-access technology swooped in to help 17 year old songwriters suck less on their own.

I actually got noticed by the industry way too early in my career and had to figure out how to not totally suck in real time while everyone watched me totally suck on very big stages that these super famous artists I had grown up worshiping had made space for me to join them on. But I wasn’t ready, and I wouldn’t really be ready for another decade.

I blazed forward anyway. I said yes to everything, disappointed everyone, kept writing, met the right people, met the wrong people, went on TV a bunch, continued doing very public things, failed, won, failed, won, failed, won, caused a scene in the circles I was supposed to impress, and slowly got better at all of it until one day in 2008 I woke up and just didn’t suck anymore…or, at least, it wasn’t as pronounced. (It’s also completely possible that I just started sucking in a totally new and different way when I quit drinking. I’m open to that, too.)

The point is, it doesn’t matter how much you suck as long as you scare the right people with your songs while you are still young and beautiful.