I was blowing through an 8 ball of coke and drinking at least a fifth of vodka every day, and I showed up to my big break accordingly. I spent $67,000.00 on cocaine in 2007 alone. I was terrible and mean and people thought it was hilarious and marketable.

The crazier I acted, the more folks wrote about me and booked me for shows; and the stranger things got on and off stage at those shows, the more people offered me TV gigs and would come to watch me spin out…but what so many people ended up watching was me canceling performances because I couldn’t remember my words, bailing on appearances at the last minute because my voice quit working (from smoking crack), having my nose begin to die and nearly fall off my face, several public, well-documented overdoses, and eventually (thankfully) disappearing into hospitals and rehabs, emerging well (ish) nearly two years later.

I wish I could go back in time and tell this sad dude to go get help before help is forced upon him in emergency rooms just 18 months later; To not worry about blowing his one shot by pausing the career clock because he ends up blowing his one shot in the end anyway; And that even that’s bullshit because there is no such thing as just one shot, in life or in music.

All that said, I am so grateful for this song, for the peculiar way it continues to find its way into the world all these years later, and how it has ultimately made so many things possible for me, my career, and my life.

Behold: The very last time I ever drank milk.

🖤